March 8, 2005
Yesterday Oliver had his grommets put in. We had to get to the hospital by 7.30am to fill out paperwork and it was happening at 8am, they did all the baby procedures first up. It was quite busy and there was another little boy who also was having grommets in. Oliver handled it all very well despite not having anything to eat. He was in and out of the surgery within 10 mins and awake immediately. There was a little bit of a delay in telling me when I could give him something to eat or drink, so he was quite upset about it but once he could eat something, all was well again.
Stuart was at home looking after Benjamin and we were home by 10am.
I don’t know what I was expecting but he was quite subdued due to the gas I suppose and he seems to be able to hear a little more than before. He is generally in a good mood but just tired and not really eating. Will wait and see when all the ‘glue’ starts coming out, hopefully the real improvement will be then.
After all this attention being heaped on Oliver, Benjamin is really wanting my attention and doesn’t want to leave my side.
We took the boys to Bal-loric together on Sunday rather than Stuart going on his own with them. I think I should have let him go on his own as whenever the boys wanted someone to help play or whatever, they would say ‘no mummy help’ and push Stuart away. Hugely upsetting for him and he felt quite rejected because of it, I felt very guilty to have put him in that position. Is this normal? I wonder if it is because of Stuart’s heavy travel schedule, they do adore him but it is limited, they are very focused on me for 90% of the time regardless if he is around.
Oliver has been waking early in the morning for the last few weeks, his ear infection has cleared so he isn’t waking screaming but in a good mood. He pads in and climbs in with us with all his favourite things (blanket, dummy, giraffe, pillow and some toys). Most often he just settles down and sleeps, other times I give him a pot of yoghurt first and then he settles down. When he wakes up, the first thing he does is to turn to me and give me a hug and kiss and say ‘hello mummy, clothes now’. I don’t know what I can do to make them give more of themselves to Stuart, he is crushed when they reject him. He tries so hard to get them interested and they love playing with him but not without me.
Oliver’s osteo appointment was today and I got the time wrong, thinking it was 3pm (which was the time of an earlier appointment) I forgot that I had changed it to 1.30pm. I put them down for an early sleep thinking I would take them when they woke. One look at my calendar at 1.45pm I realised I had missed it. I was rifling through the phone book as the phone rang, it was the osteo wondering where we were. I felt so bad it means that Oliver won’t see an osteo before we leave for NZ along with messing the osteo around. I won’t know now whether it would have helped him on the flight or not.
The other thing that has been happening lately is the snow and unbelievably cold weather. It has snowed pretty much for the last three weeks and solid over the last week. By Friday evening, we had about 15 cms snow on the ground. Oliver loved playing in it and at the weekend we all got out and made a snowman. Benjamin really doesn’t like the cold and would rather stay inside. It does look lovely when it is covering all the gardens and houses but is a pain if you have to go anywhere. So treacherous on the road driving around, I have not driven in snow before and it is really scary, our car is not built for snow, I miss the Rangy.
Still it is spring time now and the previous weeks’ snow has melted.
September 10, 2007
Glue ear trials and tribulations
March 4, 2005
We have discovered that Oliver has glue ear in both ears this explains a lot of his behaviour over the last few weeks or months. This means a lot of the time I thought he was ignoring me, but he couldn’t actually hear. Once I had figured this out, I started to speak to him face to face and have started using sign language again. I have to tap him on the shoulder and get him to look at me when I want to talk to him.
He does this to me also, if my back is turned and he wants to tell me something, generally I respond even if not looking at him but he will come over to me, and take my face in his hands and turn me to look at him. He will repeat his question and watch my mouth for a response, when I have responded he is happy and toddles off again. All this has helped hugely, he is much happier and although he can’t really understand or say new words, he has my attention and understanding in a positive way. I feel hugely guilty for the way I have been handling him during all this, he was just in pain and really couldn’t hear me. He also had an ear infection, by the end of the antibiotics course he was jumping around and not waking up screaming from sleeps.
Merille came to visit for four days last month (11-14th Feb) and it was during that time that he was finishing the antibiotics and nose drops. Merille as usual was a fount of knowledge and help, just as she was when she visited us in NZ. I was able to really have good chats with her and get lots of pointers of what to do. Hugely grateful to her.
I commented to her when we were leaving sa that I was very lucky to have a cousin that was such a good friend, she said in return that we were good friends and just happened to be cousins. That described our relationship, that we have been corresponding since we were 10 is testament to this.
We now have to tackle the glue-ear the doctor doesn’t seem to be too bothered about it, believing the wax will naturally make its way out but the infection needed to be cleared up with antibiotics in the mean time.
I had a coffee morning here last month (11th Feb) for In Touch mums. A woman who lives in our suburb, Vera, came and we talked about the glue ear thing. It seems to be such a common complaint amongst small children and the general course of action seems to be grommets. When I asked the doctor about this he dismissed it as unnecessary. Rachel’s little one Jamie has had grommets in lately and Yvette’s son Jake has also had grommets in. Another little fellow at mums and tots has had them in recently also.
Vera mentioned that her husband was an ENT specialist (or KNO in Holland) and gave me his number to call and see him directly. She said I did not need a doctor referral. What a relief but I really need to do it before we leave for NZ, the cabin pressure will burst his eardrums.
I also read in a toddler magazine that Les had sent over an article about ear infections and glue ear and what you can do about it. It mentioned Osteopathy as a good option for helping to clear out the eustacian tubes, Les asked if I wanted to make an appt for our osteo in Wellington. I wondered if it was this good I should take him while still here and have made an appointment for a local Osteo next week also (at a whopping $250NZ). Anything to make him comfortable on the flight I will gladly do, I hate seeing him in pain and he is really difficult to handle also.
So with time really running out, I called the specialist and managed to see him last Thursday at Ijselland Hospital, Elizabeth looked after Benjamin for me so I could concentrate on Oliver. He said that yes it was glue ear and based on my info about his repeated failed ear pressure tests in NZ and a failed ear pressure test with him also, the only solution was to have grommets in and we couldn’t really fly without it happening. I was relieved to hear that he would do the procedure on Monday morning.
We have discovered that Oliver has glue ear in both ears this explains a lot of his behaviour over the last few weeks or months. This means a lot of the time I thought he was ignoring me, but he couldn’t actually hear. Once I had figured this out, I started to speak to him face to face and have started using sign language again. I have to tap him on the shoulder and get him to look at me when I want to talk to him.
He does this to me also, if my back is turned and he wants to tell me something, generally I respond even if not looking at him but he will come over to me, and take my face in his hands and turn me to look at him. He will repeat his question and watch my mouth for a response, when I have responded he is happy and toddles off again. All this has helped hugely, he is much happier and although he can’t really understand or say new words, he has my attention and understanding in a positive way. I feel hugely guilty for the way I have been handling him during all this, he was just in pain and really couldn’t hear me. He also had an ear infection, by the end of the antibiotics course he was jumping around and not waking up screaming from sleeps.
Merille came to visit for four days last month (11-14th Feb) and it was during that time that he was finishing the antibiotics and nose drops. Merille as usual was a fount of knowledge and help, just as she was when she visited us in NZ. I was able to really have good chats with her and get lots of pointers of what to do. Hugely grateful to her.
I commented to her when we were leaving sa that I was very lucky to have a cousin that was such a good friend, she said in return that we were good friends and just happened to be cousins. That described our relationship, that we have been corresponding since we were 10 is testament to this.
We now have to tackle the glue-ear the doctor doesn’t seem to be too bothered about it, believing the wax will naturally make its way out but the infection needed to be cleared up with antibiotics in the mean time.
I had a coffee morning here last month (11th Feb) for In Touch mums. A woman who lives in our suburb, Vera, came and we talked about the glue ear thing. It seems to be such a common complaint amongst small children and the general course of action seems to be grommets. When I asked the doctor about this he dismissed it as unnecessary. Rachel’s little one Jamie has had grommets in lately and Yvette’s son Jake has also had grommets in. Another little fellow at mums and tots has had them in recently also.
Vera mentioned that her husband was an ENT specialist (or KNO in Holland) and gave me his number to call and see him directly. She said I did not need a doctor referral. What a relief but I really need to do it before we leave for NZ, the cabin pressure will burst his eardrums.
I also read in a toddler magazine that Les had sent over an article about ear infections and glue ear and what you can do about it. It mentioned Osteopathy as a good option for helping to clear out the eustacian tubes, Les asked if I wanted to make an appt for our osteo in Wellington. I wondered if it was this good I should take him while still here and have made an appointment for a local Osteo next week also (at a whopping $250NZ). Anything to make him comfortable on the flight I will gladly do, I hate seeing him in pain and he is really difficult to handle also.
So with time really running out, I called the specialist and managed to see him last Thursday at Ijselland Hospital, Elizabeth looked after Benjamin for me so I could concentrate on Oliver. He said that yes it was glue ear and based on my info about his repeated failed ear pressure tests in NZ and a failed ear pressure test with him also, the only solution was to have grommets in and we couldn’t really fly without it happening. I was relieved to hear that he would do the procedure on Monday morning.
February 25, 2005
As today is Friday it is gym crèche day. A shaky start to the day as Benjamin seems to be really unhappy away from me and is very clingy.
Feeling guilty and wanting just to take him home, Judy took over and suggested I make a run for it. I had started taking an exercise class in the pool and really wanted and needed to do it, Benjamin really wasn’t happy with me leaving and wanted either me to stay and play or to come swimming with me.
He did the same thing earlier in the week, when we pulled up at the crèche, he got very upset and wanted to go home “home own bed mummy, home now”. I decided not to push him if he wasn’t happy with it Oliver however, was very keen to go in but had to miss out as I can’t leave them there while not at the gym. I think he was quite disappointed.
I managed to do the class, although had nearly missed it. I figured it couldn’t be too arduous as the average age of the attendees was around the mid 60’s. There even a few 70 plus there. I have been to two classes now and it is really hard – or my three times per week swimming has not really increased my fitness dramatically. I was thinking to take the instructor aside to see if he felt comfortable about potentially giving his students coronary attacks.
While the gym crèche is great and allows me to have some time to devote to myself without rushing around, and the boys time to spend with other children, it is quite a small space and they need more space to stretch out and more structure. I also want to have time to get things done. Getting anything done whilst taking the boys with me is next to impossible in Holland. The shops are small boutiques and because there are two of them, I can’t take them into a shop not in the buggy. They get into everything in separate directions and I have to suffer the wrath of the shop owner as well as try to communicate to a non-english speaking person what I want. The other problem is I can’t get the buggy in or around the shop.
I have found a spot in a local play group (peuterspeelzaal) for three mornings per week. I haven’t yet established how much it costs as the dutch are not very good at giving away useful information. I had emailed in English and said I my dutch comprehension was limited at this stage, so of course, all emails were responded to in dutch. I think they don’t speak English or are just proving a point, don’t know. The online translator is not that good and only translates about 60% of the text and is word by word translation. For a lot of Dutch words there is no direct English translation. Hopefully, I can make it down to have a look at the place and fill in the obligatory forms and more importantly find out the cost before we head off to NZ. This done, they can start when we return.
As today is Friday it is gym crèche day. A shaky start to the day as Benjamin seems to be really unhappy away from me and is very clingy.
Feeling guilty and wanting just to take him home, Judy took over and suggested I make a run for it. I had started taking an exercise class in the pool and really wanted and needed to do it, Benjamin really wasn’t happy with me leaving and wanted either me to stay and play or to come swimming with me.
He did the same thing earlier in the week, when we pulled up at the crèche, he got very upset and wanted to go home “home own bed mummy, home now”. I decided not to push him if he wasn’t happy with it Oliver however, was very keen to go in but had to miss out as I can’t leave them there while not at the gym. I think he was quite disappointed.
I managed to do the class, although had nearly missed it. I figured it couldn’t be too arduous as the average age of the attendees was around the mid 60’s. There even a few 70 plus there. I have been to two classes now and it is really hard – or my three times per week swimming has not really increased my fitness dramatically. I was thinking to take the instructor aside to see if he felt comfortable about potentially giving his students coronary attacks.
While the gym crèche is great and allows me to have some time to devote to myself without rushing around, and the boys time to spend with other children, it is quite a small space and they need more space to stretch out and more structure. I also want to have time to get things done. Getting anything done whilst taking the boys with me is next to impossible in Holland. The shops are small boutiques and because there are two of them, I can’t take them into a shop not in the buggy. They get into everything in separate directions and I have to suffer the wrath of the shop owner as well as try to communicate to a non-english speaking person what I want. The other problem is I can’t get the buggy in or around the shop.
I have found a spot in a local play group (peuterspeelzaal) for three mornings per week. I haven’t yet established how much it costs as the dutch are not very good at giving away useful information. I had emailed in English and said I my dutch comprehension was limited at this stage, so of course, all emails were responded to in dutch. I think they don’t speak English or are just proving a point, don’t know. The online translator is not that good and only translates about 60% of the text and is word by word translation. For a lot of Dutch words there is no direct English translation. Hopefully, I can make it down to have a look at the place and fill in the obligatory forms and more importantly find out the cost before we head off to NZ. This done, they can start when we return.
Winter sets up
February 28, 2005
Minus 9 degrees this morning! This is the coldest I have ever experienced, and apparently other countries and places get even colder than this – hard to imagine. It snowed quite heavily yesterday and the temperature didn’t rise much over minus 3. The snow stopped around lunchtime and was beautifully sunny for the remainder of the day, I had forgotten how good it feels to have sunshine. Stuart got the boys up and breakfasted this morning then took them to Bal-loric for an outing for the morning. His instructions to me were clear, to climb back into bed and have some more sleep. The last time he took the boys out, I got up and spent three hours cleaning and was exhausted when he got home with two tired and grumpy lads. Won’t make that mistake again.
Thankfully, the boys were better behaved with Stuart than last time and he enjoyed the experience.
Saturday morning we took the boys over to the Alexandrium crèche facility. Our new Saturday plan is for us to have some quality time together while taking advantage of the fantastic facility. It is not ideal, leaving them at this type of place but we don’t have any other way of going around this and we need to concentrate on us a bit more now. Having the boys has been quite an assault on our relationship and I don’t want it to destroy us. I believe if we are strong, the boys will be too. Unfortunately, all the stresses and strains of the last three years as well as this move have really taken its toll on our relationship and we now need regular time together away from the boys and this is the only way we can achieve it at the moment. Hopefully they wont suffer too many abandonment issues with what we are doing.
Benjamin really didn’t want me to go yesterday, “mummy leave later, mummy stay play”, broke my heart and made it extremely hard for me to leave. We cut our intended time by half because I didn’t want to leave them there if they are not happy. Benjamin seems more comfortable at staying at home lately.
Minus 9 degrees this morning! This is the coldest I have ever experienced, and apparently other countries and places get even colder than this – hard to imagine. It snowed quite heavily yesterday and the temperature didn’t rise much over minus 3. The snow stopped around lunchtime and was beautifully sunny for the remainder of the day, I had forgotten how good it feels to have sunshine. Stuart got the boys up and breakfasted this morning then took them to Bal-loric for an outing for the morning. His instructions to me were clear, to climb back into bed and have some more sleep. The last time he took the boys out, I got up and spent three hours cleaning and was exhausted when he got home with two tired and grumpy lads. Won’t make that mistake again.
Thankfully, the boys were better behaved with Stuart than last time and he enjoyed the experience.
Saturday morning we took the boys over to the Alexandrium crèche facility. Our new Saturday plan is for us to have some quality time together while taking advantage of the fantastic facility. It is not ideal, leaving them at this type of place but we don’t have any other way of going around this and we need to concentrate on us a bit more now. Having the boys has been quite an assault on our relationship and I don’t want it to destroy us. I believe if we are strong, the boys will be too. Unfortunately, all the stresses and strains of the last three years as well as this move have really taken its toll on our relationship and we now need regular time together away from the boys and this is the only way we can achieve it at the moment. Hopefully they wont suffer too many abandonment issues with what we are doing.
Benjamin really didn’t want me to go yesterday, “mummy leave later, mummy stay play”, broke my heart and made it extremely hard for me to leave. We cut our intended time by half because I didn’t want to leave them there if they are not happy. Benjamin seems more comfortable at staying at home lately.
A bit down
February 24, 2005
Is this it? I feel so foggy and consumed by parenthood, I just want to get off. I am not sure where my environment ends and I begin at the moment. Even the time it has taken me to write two lines, the boys have climbed on top of me and Benjamin is trying to involve himself in what I am doing. I am so tired I feel like I am in a submarine or capsule of some kind, just moving around on the inside looking out the portholes in whichever direction gravity or something external pulls me. My vision seems obscured by the portholes of the cabin and sometimes I only have a snapshot of an image or thoughts or conversations before the pod moves around again.
Stuart asked me last night to start jotting down my thoughts and ideas for the beachhouse completion as we are off to nz in 2 weeks. This is supposed to be my thing and I couldn’t even muster any ideas or enthusiasm, the worst part was that I didn’t care what happened to the place. It was simply too much energy to expend on thinking about the place. I didn’t care. I was happy and preferred for Stuart to decide what to do, I don’t think he was too impressed by my attitude.
I am looking around for suitable childcare, for a couple of mornings per week so I can establish me again. I need to something creative as I feel I am dying inside bit by bit.
Is this it? I feel so foggy and consumed by parenthood, I just want to get off. I am not sure where my environment ends and I begin at the moment. Even the time it has taken me to write two lines, the boys have climbed on top of me and Benjamin is trying to involve himself in what I am doing. I am so tired I feel like I am in a submarine or capsule of some kind, just moving around on the inside looking out the portholes in whichever direction gravity or something external pulls me. My vision seems obscured by the portholes of the cabin and sometimes I only have a snapshot of an image or thoughts or conversations before the pod moves around again.
Stuart asked me last night to start jotting down my thoughts and ideas for the beachhouse completion as we are off to nz in 2 weeks. This is supposed to be my thing and I couldn’t even muster any ideas or enthusiasm, the worst part was that I didn’t care what happened to the place. It was simply too much energy to expend on thinking about the place. I didn’t care. I was happy and preferred for Stuart to decide what to do, I don’t think he was too impressed by my attitude.
I am looking around for suitable childcare, for a couple of mornings per week so I can establish me again. I need to something creative as I feel I am dying inside bit by bit.
Hurrah! 2005 at last
January 1, 2005
Made it into another year and have survived the last stressful few months in this infinitely strange and frustrating country. Hopefully this year will be better.
We spent a surprisingly enjoyable six nights in the UK with Beryl and David. The trip there went very well also. We drove to Boulogne and then took a fast ferry to Dover and drove from there. All up it took around six hours. All was going very well in the car, the boys had played and then napped, then they pulled the armrest between their seats down. Unfortunately, the item sitting directly in front of the opening was their toy box with the favourite book of the moment (popup book) facing directly at them. The tears and tantrums that followed trying to explain that we couldn’t get the book…Daddy won’t make that mistake again.
Beryl and David did such a great job with preparing the house for our visit. They had made a room for the boys, bought beds, got toys, books and videos for them. Done a great job of twin proofing the house and putting a barrier on the kitchen door and had bought a set of table and chairs for them. I was so surprised and hugely relieved. Because of this, they settled in immediately, slept and ate well each day, a vastly different experience to Sth Africa. Even David enjoyed it.
The really funny thing about this trip was the weather, as it turned out we went to the uk for good weather, not many people can brag about that. It was cold and very frosty for Christmas and boxing days but clear blue skies and sunny.
We visited Brendan and Sarah and their new baby, Grace (11 weeks old). I was pretty pleased to discover that Sarah (the previous chimney) had completely given up smoking apparently the day she found she was pregnant. Brendan on the other hand, is still a chimney. She told me she has been making a pretty determined effort to get him to give up and absolutely hates the smell of smoke now – quite the crusader for non-smoking. How ironic.
We also visited Christine and Mike in their new digs in Buckinghamshire, a lovely new converted Victorian Dairy. Fantastic place, the suburb is very rural and very much a designer pad. Christine has great taste in all things interior, I aspire to have a house as attractive and orderly as hers. I get a bit tired of buying everything second hand or the cheapest we can find (except for electronic gadgets). It is funny, we have known each other going on 23 years now but during our adult, independent lives we have lived in separate continents. I know what Christine likes in books, clothing and jewellery but the rest was a mystery to me. We have always been close and in good contact but our day-to-day, adult family lives are only now connecting.
Her pad is magazine spread good looks, tidy and clean. There was a bit of Connors toys around but it did not look like the child tornado that ours regularly does. I was reminded of Kath’s place. Chris seems to have a fine tuned sense of order.
After three hours of all three boys racing around, the place did look like a tornado had gone through it – I was pleasantly relieved. Stuart made the comment that it must be a whole lot easier to keep order when you only have one child to consider.
I am grateful for Stuart finding this house as we have a loft area that all the toys and messy play can happen. Our bottom floor living area is reserved for adult living and eating. Although, I do find the house quite oppressive and depressing sometimes and get very frustrated with my limitations. We had to purchase quite a few things from the Olivers prior to moving in and the company also purchased some items that really should have been tossed, like the curtains, I flat out refused to pay for them and held out that if the Oliver’s wanted money for them, then PONL had to pay.
Margaret bless her, made some truly hideous curtains in all of the rooms. They are beyond description and have to go. Such a silly thing, but I really can’t look at them for three years. Finding suitable fabric is difficult, Spotlight would have a cornered market if they set up here. We are still finding our way around the furniture shopping side of things and apart from IKEA, we don’t know where to find good quality and design, curtain fabric. The other problem is coordinating ourselves enough to do this searching with the boys and the limited knowledge and shopping hours.
The house is cream everywhere and coming from our previous houses and total lack of colour around me depressing, even the sky is beige. When I go outside all I see is beige, the houses, streets, buildings even the cars are sombre colours. The sky is constantly misty and grey or beige and it is constantly damp and wet.
Made it into another year and have survived the last stressful few months in this infinitely strange and frustrating country. Hopefully this year will be better.
We spent a surprisingly enjoyable six nights in the UK with Beryl and David. The trip there went very well also. We drove to Boulogne and then took a fast ferry to Dover and drove from there. All up it took around six hours. All was going very well in the car, the boys had played and then napped, then they pulled the armrest between their seats down. Unfortunately, the item sitting directly in front of the opening was their toy box with the favourite book of the moment (popup book) facing directly at them. The tears and tantrums that followed trying to explain that we couldn’t get the book…Daddy won’t make that mistake again.
Beryl and David did such a great job with preparing the house for our visit. They had made a room for the boys, bought beds, got toys, books and videos for them. Done a great job of twin proofing the house and putting a barrier on the kitchen door and had bought a set of table and chairs for them. I was so surprised and hugely relieved. Because of this, they settled in immediately, slept and ate well each day, a vastly different experience to Sth Africa. Even David enjoyed it.
The really funny thing about this trip was the weather, as it turned out we went to the uk for good weather, not many people can brag about that. It was cold and very frosty for Christmas and boxing days but clear blue skies and sunny.
We visited Brendan and Sarah and their new baby, Grace (11 weeks old). I was pretty pleased to discover that Sarah (the previous chimney) had completely given up smoking apparently the day she found she was pregnant. Brendan on the other hand, is still a chimney. She told me she has been making a pretty determined effort to get him to give up and absolutely hates the smell of smoke now – quite the crusader for non-smoking. How ironic.
We also visited Christine and Mike in their new digs in Buckinghamshire, a lovely new converted Victorian Dairy. Fantastic place, the suburb is very rural and very much a designer pad. Christine has great taste in all things interior, I aspire to have a house as attractive and orderly as hers. I get a bit tired of buying everything second hand or the cheapest we can find (except for electronic gadgets). It is funny, we have known each other going on 23 years now but during our adult, independent lives we have lived in separate continents. I know what Christine likes in books, clothing and jewellery but the rest was a mystery to me. We have always been close and in good contact but our day-to-day, adult family lives are only now connecting.
Her pad is magazine spread good looks, tidy and clean. There was a bit of Connors toys around but it did not look like the child tornado that ours regularly does. I was reminded of Kath’s place. Chris seems to have a fine tuned sense of order.
After three hours of all three boys racing around, the place did look like a tornado had gone through it – I was pleasantly relieved. Stuart made the comment that it must be a whole lot easier to keep order when you only have one child to consider.
I am grateful for Stuart finding this house as we have a loft area that all the toys and messy play can happen. Our bottom floor living area is reserved for adult living and eating. Although, I do find the house quite oppressive and depressing sometimes and get very frustrated with my limitations. We had to purchase quite a few things from the Olivers prior to moving in and the company also purchased some items that really should have been tossed, like the curtains, I flat out refused to pay for them and held out that if the Oliver’s wanted money for them, then PONL had to pay.
Margaret bless her, made some truly hideous curtains in all of the rooms. They are beyond description and have to go. Such a silly thing, but I really can’t look at them for three years. Finding suitable fabric is difficult, Spotlight would have a cornered market if they set up here. We are still finding our way around the furniture shopping side of things and apart from IKEA, we don’t know where to find good quality and design, curtain fabric. The other problem is coordinating ourselves enough to do this searching with the boys and the limited knowledge and shopping hours.
The house is cream everywhere and coming from our previous houses and total lack of colour around me depressing, even the sky is beige. When I go outside all I see is beige, the houses, streets, buildings even the cars are sombre colours. The sky is constantly misty and grey or beige and it is constantly damp and wet.
We made it to Christmas
December 25, 2004
We escaped to the UK for a few days over Christmas to visit Granny B and Opa. We didn’t have a white Christmas in the truest sense but there were some spectacular frosts on both Christmas morning and boxing day, gorgeous to look at from the comfort of centrally heated house, however other parts of the UK did have snow. Thankfully the days were clear with crisp blue skies, a welcome relief from the continual grey, damp mists and fog that we have had in Rotterdam over the last few months. Who would have thought that anyone would go to the UK for the weather.
Granny and Opa had been extremely busy getting ready for the arrival of the now dynamite two year olds Benjamin and Oliver, preparing a bedroom for them, getting toys and books, table and chairs, catches on cupboards and other things to settle them in along with toddler proofing the house. It worked, they settled in immediately and we all had a very relaxing stay. Even the chaos and busy-ness of Christmas day didn’t phase them, they went from toy to toy, tearing open the wrappings with an emphatic “wow” every time. They sat at their table and chairs beautifully while the grownups had the full Christmas dinner experience.
Granny wasn’t at all phased when we discovered them in our room (when we thought they were sleeping peacefully), smearing my lipstick over the cupboards and themselves.
Stuart and I even managed to get out one evening for dinner and a movie. We felt like grown-ups on a date as we didn’t have to worry about tomato sauce (dip dip) being splattered up the walls or salt and pepper shakers upturned on tables. We could even have a normal conversation not punctuated with Benjamin don’t eat the pepper, Oliver why are you under the table and eat our dinner while it was still hot. Bliss.
We even got to do some shopping sans children and can report we are all now suitably puffer-coated up for the northern winter. Our New Zealand winter wardrobe was woefully inadequate.
We escaped to the UK for a few days over Christmas to visit Granny B and Opa. We didn’t have a white Christmas in the truest sense but there were some spectacular frosts on both Christmas morning and boxing day, gorgeous to look at from the comfort of centrally heated house, however other parts of the UK did have snow. Thankfully the days were clear with crisp blue skies, a welcome relief from the continual grey, damp mists and fog that we have had in Rotterdam over the last few months. Who would have thought that anyone would go to the UK for the weather.
Granny and Opa had been extremely busy getting ready for the arrival of the now dynamite two year olds Benjamin and Oliver, preparing a bedroom for them, getting toys and books, table and chairs, catches on cupboards and other things to settle them in along with toddler proofing the house. It worked, they settled in immediately and we all had a very relaxing stay. Even the chaos and busy-ness of Christmas day didn’t phase them, they went from toy to toy, tearing open the wrappings with an emphatic “wow” every time. They sat at their table and chairs beautifully while the grownups had the full Christmas dinner experience.
Granny wasn’t at all phased when we discovered them in our room (when we thought they were sleeping peacefully), smearing my lipstick over the cupboards and themselves.
Stuart and I even managed to get out one evening for dinner and a movie. We felt like grown-ups on a date as we didn’t have to worry about tomato sauce (dip dip) being splattered up the walls or salt and pepper shakers upturned on tables. We could even have a normal conversation not punctuated with Benjamin don’t eat the pepper, Oliver why are you under the table and eat our dinner while it was still hot. Bliss.
We even got to do some shopping sans children and can report we are all now suitably puffer-coated up for the northern winter. Our New Zealand winter wardrobe was woefully inadequate.
Life becoming more normal
December 21, 2004
Benjamin and Oliver seem very happy and settled no. The sleeping issues we had been having seemed to have been resolved by putting up their night-lights. Margaret had a total obsession about having the rooms as dark as possible, so with the curtains closed, nothing got in. Oliver in particular was upset with the darkness, I don’t blame him, it is really disconcerting when you can’t see a thing even though your eyes are open. Oliver’s nightmares have stopped also.
The gym crèche setup is going well. They have really settled in there and Judy says they are model children and the boys adore her. There is also the mums and tots playgroup each week for them to look forward to. Finally, some predictability in their lives and they have responded to it.
Their language skills move along each day and we are now teaching them numbers and letters and difference between left and right. They picked up the left and right thing extremely quickly. We made it into a game in the car on Sunday (on the way back from Germany). They can now count to ten in dutch and English also – with prompting.
Benjamin and Oliver seem very happy and settled no. The sleeping issues we had been having seemed to have been resolved by putting up their night-lights. Margaret had a total obsession about having the rooms as dark as possible, so with the curtains closed, nothing got in. Oliver in particular was upset with the darkness, I don’t blame him, it is really disconcerting when you can’t see a thing even though your eyes are open. Oliver’s nightmares have stopped also.
The gym crèche setup is going well. They have really settled in there and Judy says they are model children and the boys adore her. There is also the mums and tots playgroup each week for them to look forward to. Finally, some predictability in their lives and they have responded to it.
Their language skills move along each day and we are now teaching them numbers and letters and difference between left and right. They picked up the left and right thing extremely quickly. We made it into a game in the car on Sunday (on the way back from Germany). They can now count to ten in dutch and English also – with prompting.
Now the internet...
December 29, 2004
We finally have internet at home also. After a few frustrating false starts, it is finally up and running, a wireless connection that means we can log in anywhere in the house. Sounds impressive to a technophobe like me, but Inspector gadget says it is the best thing.
Just getting the wireless box was another completely dutch customer service thing. Stuart signed up and they said that it would be 4-7 days, he thought to receive the box, what they meant was that it would take 4-7 days to receive a letter telling you when the box would arrive, which turned out to be 4 weeks.
It finally arrived, followed two days later by another one identical to the first. We tried to install it but the instruction manual was in dutch and stuart is no technician, tricky even for him. So Stuart organised a technical wizard from work to come and install it for us, very nice guy to give up his time on a Friday night to install our computer. The funny thing was that he couldn’t install it as KPN had not reconfigured our line properly as the previous tenants had isdn that we did not want. After several calls to the help desk (at Euro1.15/min), we discovered why it wasn’t connecting. We then had to wait a further 4 days while they fixed the line problem.
We waited the four days and bingo, we were wired to the world for the first time in four months. I had just about got used to the heft mobile texting bill and the total isolation.
But three days later it all turned pearshaped again as we were shut down by a nasty computer virus, no connection to the net once again. A few days later and some new programmes installed we were on again, only this time our wireless connection wont connect us. So, ironically we can only use our wireless network with the laptop connected to the receiver with a cable.
We finally have internet at home also. After a few frustrating false starts, it is finally up and running, a wireless connection that means we can log in anywhere in the house. Sounds impressive to a technophobe like me, but Inspector gadget says it is the best thing.
Just getting the wireless box was another completely dutch customer service thing. Stuart signed up and they said that it would be 4-7 days, he thought to receive the box, what they meant was that it would take 4-7 days to receive a letter telling you when the box would arrive, which turned out to be 4 weeks.
It finally arrived, followed two days later by another one identical to the first. We tried to install it but the instruction manual was in dutch and stuart is no technician, tricky even for him. So Stuart organised a technical wizard from work to come and install it for us, very nice guy to give up his time on a Friday night to install our computer. The funny thing was that he couldn’t install it as KPN had not reconfigured our line properly as the previous tenants had isdn that we did not want. After several calls to the help desk (at Euro1.15/min), we discovered why it wasn’t connecting. We then had to wait a further 4 days while they fixed the line problem.
We waited the four days and bingo, we were wired to the world for the first time in four months. I had just about got used to the heft mobile texting bill and the total isolation.
But three days later it all turned pearshaped again as we were shut down by a nasty computer virus, no connection to the net once again. A few days later and some new programmes installed we were on again, only this time our wireless connection wont connect us. So, ironically we can only use our wireless network with the laptop connected to the receiver with a cable.
Sorting out the phone, still
Another strange thing happened today also, all this before 10am.
Our phone line rental is with KPN (govt owned phone coy), and the call costs are expensive, probably the most expensive of all the providers. Stuart had signed us up with another provider (Pretium) for cheaper international calls. When we signed at KPN, I wanted to find a package that offered better deals on calls etc, the funny and very dutch part is that we had to subscribe to a certain package until they had assessed and decided what our call patterns are like – we must wait for three months to change packages (we were on belbudget, the cheapest). So, when we called Pretium to find out when our new call costs would be active from, they said that we could not use them on the current KPN package, apparently, KPN have blocked every provider for providing cheap calls on the belbudget packages, we must upgrade to belbasis (at another Euro5 per month) to get cheap calls. Grrrrr. Pretium advised that as soon as KPN have upgraded, we can start using Pretium but he cautioned to do it as soon as possible as they take ages – 10 days to do this simple function.
So I called KPN and upgraded the package. It gets worse, the customer chicky said that the details were updated and I thanked her and asked when it will be active, remember the 10 day conversation. She said not before 1st February 2005! I was so shocked and asked her what they could possibly be doing that they needed that long when she had just updated the information while I talked with her. Again, being dutch customer service, the answer was “this is the time it will take”, end of conversation. I called Pretium to advise them that I had upgraded and when it would be active and even they were shocked. So, now we will wait until Feb to make our cheap calls.
Our phone line rental is with KPN (govt owned phone coy), and the call costs are expensive, probably the most expensive of all the providers. Stuart had signed us up with another provider (Pretium) for cheaper international calls. When we signed at KPN, I wanted to find a package that offered better deals on calls etc, the funny and very dutch part is that we had to subscribe to a certain package until they had assessed and decided what our call patterns are like – we must wait for three months to change packages (we were on belbudget, the cheapest). So, when we called Pretium to find out when our new call costs would be active from, they said that we could not use them on the current KPN package, apparently, KPN have blocked every provider for providing cheap calls on the belbudget packages, we must upgrade to belbasis (at another Euro5 per month) to get cheap calls. Grrrrr. Pretium advised that as soon as KPN have upgraded, we can start using Pretium but he cautioned to do it as soon as possible as they take ages – 10 days to do this simple function.
So I called KPN and upgraded the package. It gets worse, the customer chicky said that the details were updated and I thanked her and asked when it will be active, remember the 10 day conversation. She said not before 1st February 2005! I was so shocked and asked her what they could possibly be doing that they needed that long when she had just updated the information while I talked with her. Again, being dutch customer service, the answer was “this is the time it will take”, end of conversation. I called Pretium to advise them that I had upgraded and when it would be active and even they were shocked. So, now we will wait until Feb to make our cheap calls.
Croup & the onion theory
December 21, 2004
Life in Holland just continues to amaze me. I got a call this morning from Anna, an American woman I have met through In Touch. She has borrowed our humidifier as Harrison has croup. She recently went along to the consultatiebureau for a checkup and they discussed remedies for a croupy cough, she had used a cold air humidifier in the US but had not brought it over.
Humidifiers apparently, are not customary here and you cannot buy them but they did recommend three other methods to treat him, one of which involves a raw onion. Anna tells me the other options were worse – how can that be?
Katja, a Belgian woman, also met through In Touch tells me it is an old remedy that says you must leave a raw onion in the cot with baby and the fumes from the onion help the breathing. She personally hasn’t used it as she thinks it is too awful to consider. I agree.
Life in Holland just continues to amaze me. I got a call this morning from Anna, an American woman I have met through In Touch. She has borrowed our humidifier as Harrison has croup. She recently went along to the consultatiebureau for a checkup and they discussed remedies for a croupy cough, she had used a cold air humidifier in the US but had not brought it over.
Humidifiers apparently, are not customary here and you cannot buy them but they did recommend three other methods to treat him, one of which involves a raw onion. Anna tells me the other options were worse – how can that be?
Katja, a Belgian woman, also met through In Touch tells me it is an old remedy that says you must leave a raw onion in the cot with baby and the fumes from the onion help the breathing. She personally hasn’t used it as she thinks it is too awful to consider. I agree.
Day trip to Germany, because we can
December 19, 2004
Honey, let’s go to Germany today. This is coming from a girl that has lived on an island at the bottom of the antipodes all her life. I am still laughing at the sound of that sentence. Fire up the satnav and let’s go for a drive today.
We did go and had a lovely time and were reminded yet again, how inadequate our NZ winter wardrobe is. We went to this lovely Christmas market in a small town on the german border, it was at the foot of this huge 18C cathedral. It wasn’t snowing, but just extremely and bitterly cold. The only thing we bought were some mittens for me, fur lined suede ones. Beautiful and warm.
It was an easy drive, only 2 hours away so about the same distance to the beachhouse. We put the boys in the buggy after a feed at McDonalds and they slept while we had a walk around the town centre.
Back home again by dinner-time. Very amusing.
Honey, let’s go to Germany today. This is coming from a girl that has lived on an island at the bottom of the antipodes all her life. I am still laughing at the sound of that sentence. Fire up the satnav and let’s go for a drive today.
We did go and had a lovely time and were reminded yet again, how inadequate our NZ winter wardrobe is. We went to this lovely Christmas market in a small town on the german border, it was at the foot of this huge 18C cathedral. It wasn’t snowing, but just extremely and bitterly cold. The only thing we bought were some mittens for me, fur lined suede ones. Beautiful and warm.
It was an easy drive, only 2 hours away so about the same distance to the beachhouse. We put the boys in the buggy after a feed at McDonalds and they slept while we had a walk around the town centre.
Back home again by dinner-time. Very amusing.
Toilet cleaning
December 1, 2004
The inevitable happened today. I was having a shower and B&O were toddling around in the bathroom, their bedrooms etc. They have a fascination with the mechanics of the toilet and are constantly flushing it, sticking the brush down cleaning, loo paper etc. There were noises consistent with this so this is what I thought they were doing. When I stuck my head out to check, I saw two toothbrushes, a bar of soap and a couple of bath toys on their way down. All being helped along by the toilet brush and half a roll of toilet paper. They were very proud of their handiwork, looked at me and beamed “Cleaning mummy”. Hm.
The inevitable happened today. I was having a shower and B&O were toddling around in the bathroom, their bedrooms etc. They have a fascination with the mechanics of the toilet and are constantly flushing it, sticking the brush down cleaning, loo paper etc. There were noises consistent with this so this is what I thought they were doing. When I stuck my head out to check, I saw two toothbrushes, a bar of soap and a couple of bath toys on their way down. All being helped along by the toilet brush and half a roll of toilet paper. They were very proud of their handiwork, looked at me and beamed “Cleaning mummy”. Hm.
Week 3 - when in Rome (or Holland)
Week 3
When in Rome…
Feeling a lot better today, colds almost gone and the boys need some time out of the house. My hair is starting to fall out though. Anyway, I thought I would see how the mood takes me on the clothing issue.
I dropped the boys off, got changed and went on down to the pool, with robe, towel and wearing jandals, my pretty ones with the flowers. Swam for half an hour then went in for a steam and a sauna. Not quite throwing caution to the wind, I showered (clothed) next to a 50 something completely naked man. Where do you look when they are a) considerably taller than you and b) facing and talking to you? After my very short shower I ducked around the corner quickly disrobed and ducked into the thankfully empty and very steamy steam room. Strangely liberating really, nowhere to hide (except in the steam), in a public room knowing at any minute a man or woman could walk in on you.
Someone did come in in fact, or more poked his head in saw me, apologised and ducked back out again, strangely saying he would come back later. Was it the same sauna man? It wouldn’t have been so bad because the steam hides all sorts of things, the sauna you are all laid out not knowing where to put your arms/hands, legs up or down, eyes open or closed, lying down or sitting up and if lying down, should you keep your legs down.
I survived the steam and sauna sessions both naked, I even survived another shower with yet another stranger – both naked, very strange indeed.
In my nubile teens and early twenties, I would have gladly and unembarrassed pranced or wandered around going about my business in the nude but with my post baby, c scar, saggy breast fed boobs all just aren’t up to scratch any more. Thankfully, there really is no pressure to look like a magazine model, so far apart from the women’s changing room, the only other naked people I have seen have been 50+ men. No contest there.
When in Rome…
Feeling a lot better today, colds almost gone and the boys need some time out of the house. My hair is starting to fall out though. Anyway, I thought I would see how the mood takes me on the clothing issue.
I dropped the boys off, got changed and went on down to the pool, with robe, towel and wearing jandals, my pretty ones with the flowers. Swam for half an hour then went in for a steam and a sauna. Not quite throwing caution to the wind, I showered (clothed) next to a 50 something completely naked man. Where do you look when they are a) considerably taller than you and b) facing and talking to you? After my very short shower I ducked around the corner quickly disrobed and ducked into the thankfully empty and very steamy steam room. Strangely liberating really, nowhere to hide (except in the steam), in a public room knowing at any minute a man or woman could walk in on you.
Someone did come in in fact, or more poked his head in saw me, apologised and ducked back out again, strangely saying he would come back later. Was it the same sauna man? It wouldn’t have been so bad because the steam hides all sorts of things, the sauna you are all laid out not knowing where to put your arms/hands, legs up or down, eyes open or closed, lying down or sitting up and if lying down, should you keep your legs down.
I survived the steam and sauna sessions both naked, I even survived another shower with yet another stranger – both naked, very strange indeed.
In my nubile teens and early twenties, I would have gladly and unembarrassed pranced or wandered around going about my business in the nude but with my post baby, c scar, saggy breast fed boobs all just aren’t up to scratch any more. Thankfully, there really is no pressure to look like a magazine model, so far apart from the women’s changing room, the only other naked people I have seen have been 50+ men. No contest there.
Week 2, winter colds
Week 2
We all have nasty colds so I decided to give the gym a miss for the first two days. Coming around on Wednesday so decided to go and brave the gym – or at least the pool. Chicken.
We all have nasty colds so I decided to give the gym a miss for the first two days. Coming around on Wednesday so decided to go and brave the gym – or at least the pool. Chicken.
Week 1, day 2 & nudity
Day 2, week 1
I decided to brave the swimming pool and looked forward to a session in steam room or sauna afterwards, even went prepared with a book to sit and have a quiet read in the café afterwards. I had come unprepared with only my towel and togs, not realising that the changing room was one floor up, even though there was a men’s just outside the pool entrance. Apparently, it was advised to have sandals and a robe to go into the pool – pool etiquette I found out. Hmmm. This meant, wrapped in my towel, sans robe or sandals, I had to come down stairs past reception to get to the pool.
The actual swim was very relaxing and uneventful, I just relaxed and enjoyed some gentle water exercise. There were a couple of other people in the pool, one a woman, definitely post 60 going a sedate pace and one gent maybe even post 80, moving very slowly. I thought as this was my first bit of exercise in a very long time, I would just pace myself and thought if I at least outpace the 80+ gent I was doing ok. At one stage as I lapped him, it seemed like he wasn’t moving at all, intentionally or not, I don’t know. Do they teach CPR here?
I decided to have a steam and/or sauna after the pool. When I joined they had told me that the sauna and steam were nude and men women combined, with specific days during the week for women only. Me being a reserved New Zealand girl, I took this to mean it was your choice but the majority went without. Silly me. With no-one around to provide a dress code cue, I entered the steam room in my togs, had a lovely time, came out had a shower and rested for the required 10 mins and went into the sauna. Still no naked people to provide a cue.
I went into the sauna and settled on my towel. While I was enjoying the warmth and quiet, a stark bollock naked 60+ gent wanders in. Ok, here’s the clothes rule. He took one look at me and said “Oh, you are not from Holland no?” “Err no”. We sat in companionable silence, him naked, I prudishly clothed in my sensible one-piece swimming costume.
A little while later, I left and chalked it up to experience and wondered what I will do next time.
I decided to brave the swimming pool and looked forward to a session in steam room or sauna afterwards, even went prepared with a book to sit and have a quiet read in the café afterwards. I had come unprepared with only my towel and togs, not realising that the changing room was one floor up, even though there was a men’s just outside the pool entrance. Apparently, it was advised to have sandals and a robe to go into the pool – pool etiquette I found out. Hmmm. This meant, wrapped in my towel, sans robe or sandals, I had to come down stairs past reception to get to the pool.
The actual swim was very relaxing and uneventful, I just relaxed and enjoyed some gentle water exercise. There were a couple of other people in the pool, one a woman, definitely post 60 going a sedate pace and one gent maybe even post 80, moving very slowly. I thought as this was my first bit of exercise in a very long time, I would just pace myself and thought if I at least outpace the 80+ gent I was doing ok. At one stage as I lapped him, it seemed like he wasn’t moving at all, intentionally or not, I don’t know. Do they teach CPR here?
I decided to have a steam and/or sauna after the pool. When I joined they had told me that the sauna and steam were nude and men women combined, with specific days during the week for women only. Me being a reserved New Zealand girl, I took this to mean it was your choice but the majority went without. Silly me. With no-one around to provide a dress code cue, I entered the steam room in my togs, had a lovely time, came out had a shower and rested for the required 10 mins and went into the sauna. Still no naked people to provide a cue.
I went into the sauna and settled on my towel. While I was enjoying the warmth and quiet, a stark bollock naked 60+ gent wanders in. Ok, here’s the clothes rule. He took one look at me and said “Oh, you are not from Holland no?” “Err no”. We sat in companionable silence, him naked, I prudishly clothed in my sensible one-piece swimming costume.
A little while later, I left and chalked it up to experience and wondered what I will do next time.
The gym - Week 1
Day 1, week 1 at the gym
As I was leaving for the gym with swimming gear packed I got my 6th period in three months so decided not to swim. I needed a haircut so I decided that that is what I would be doing with my first session time. I managed to get a walk in appointment after dropping the boys off and they did a good job too. The thing about getting your hair cut in Holland is the way in which you arrange what you will be having and establishing what you will be paying. Sensible I suppose, each part of the process is priced out accordingly. If you don’t ask you don’t get or pay for. For example, if you go in not knowing this in advance and ask for a haircut that is precisely what you will get, nothing less nothing more. The dutch are famous for not divulging any more information that what you have specifically asked for.
This salon did have one thing in its favour, they asked questions. So the conversation went something along the lines of would you like you hair cut wet?
Yes please.
Would you like shampoo? Yes please.
Conditioner? Yes please.
Would you like a head massage? Ooh yes definitely.
Would you like it dried with hair dryer or towel? Dryer please.
With brushes? Yes please.
Ok, thank you, one moment please.
A few moments later after consulting a file and a calculator she comes back. That will be E39,50 please. Ok, deal struck we proceeded.
So from then on the stylist did a lovely job of all the above steps and I happily parted with my NZD80. I had some spare time before I needed to collect the boys, so I went into the café and had a long lunch and read my book! Bliss.
Even though this whole experience was only two hours, I felt so refreshed and relaxed it was worth the E76/mth gym and E15/mth for the crèche. Sorry Stuart!
As I was leaving for the gym with swimming gear packed I got my 6th period in three months so decided not to swim. I needed a haircut so I decided that that is what I would be doing with my first session time. I managed to get a walk in appointment after dropping the boys off and they did a good job too. The thing about getting your hair cut in Holland is the way in which you arrange what you will be having and establishing what you will be paying. Sensible I suppose, each part of the process is priced out accordingly. If you don’t ask you don’t get or pay for. For example, if you go in not knowing this in advance and ask for a haircut that is precisely what you will get, nothing less nothing more. The dutch are famous for not divulging any more information that what you have specifically asked for.
This salon did have one thing in its favour, they asked questions. So the conversation went something along the lines of would you like you hair cut wet?
Yes please.
Would you like shampoo? Yes please.
Conditioner? Yes please.
Would you like a head massage? Ooh yes definitely.
Would you like it dried with hair dryer or towel? Dryer please.
With brushes? Yes please.
Ok, thank you, one moment please.
A few moments later after consulting a file and a calculator she comes back. That will be E39,50 please. Ok, deal struck we proceeded.
So from then on the stylist did a lovely job of all the above steps and I happily parted with my NZD80. I had some spare time before I needed to collect the boys, so I went into the café and had a long lunch and read my book! Bliss.
Even though this whole experience was only two hours, I felt so refreshed and relaxed it was worth the E76/mth gym and E15/mth for the crèche. Sorry Stuart!
Stepping out - joining a gym
I have joined the gym in Kralingen, which is about 15 mins walk away. I am way too tired to be thrashing it out on the exercise machines I joined primarily to have some me time away from the boys. I was in desperately in need of it. The gym has a crèche facility open to gym members and we were able to secure a membership for them on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays for 2 hours each time. I treat it as my set time each week to go and pamper myself or relax.
Moving to Holland has taken care of any weight related issues, I am now under 60kgs for the first time in about 7 years. I was around 67kgs in May, 64kgs in July and now 59kgs in November. Long may it last!
Moving to Holland has taken care of any weight related issues, I am now under 60kgs for the first time in about 7 years. I was around 67kgs in May, 64kgs in July and now 59kgs in November. Long may it last!
Life begins
November 29, 2004
We are now well settled into our new life in Kralingen, the boys are so much happier and can predict with some certainty what happens around them.
I continue to take them to mums and tots every week and am starting to make some friends. The boys are less timid about it all and are really excited to get there. They are becoming more independent about their playing, not needing me around so much.
I take them to bal-loric once a week also, a chance to burn off energy and have a change of scene.
We are now well settled into our new life in Kralingen, the boys are so much happier and can predict with some certainty what happens around them.
I continue to take them to mums and tots every week and am starting to make some friends. The boys are less timid about it all and are really excited to get there. They are becoming more independent about their playing, not needing me around so much.
I take them to bal-loric once a week also, a chance to burn off energy and have a change of scene.
We're moving at last!
We had one day in the apartment after returning from Sth Africa, then we moved into our permanent accommodation in Kralingen. Hurrah!
The unpacking is taking quite a long time but at least we have our stuff, the boys have a stable environment and we have room to spread out. It has really taken the pressure off things.
All we have to do now is figure out all the paperwork side of things like having a phone connected, internet etc.
The boys are so much happier now they have their toys and room to move around. We have put them into beds and they have their own rooms. In due course we will put some new curtains in and make it look more like home.
The unpacking is taking quite a long time but at least we have our stuff, the boys have a stable environment and we have room to spread out. It has really taken the pressure off things.
All we have to do now is figure out all the paperwork side of things like having a phone connected, internet etc.
The boys are so much happier now they have their toys and room to move around. We have put them into beds and they have their own rooms. In due course we will put some new curtains in and make it look more like home.
Last few days in Sth Africa
End October, 2004
On the Wednesday we took the boys to an indoor play area for a run around. They enjoyed it. It was quite small but the activities were familiar to them. But within 24 hours Oliver was vomiting violently and had diarrhoea with it, we were up all night with him, vomiting every half hour. Poor little fellow first the other injuries, the finger and now this. Benjamin seemed unaffected by it.
We tried to cram some more tourist things in like going up Table Mountain, Kirstenbosch gardens etc, but every time in the car, Oliver would vomit in spectacular fashion. Poor Merille.
On Friday, with Oliver still a bit poorly, throwing up if he ate or drank too much, we went over to Camps Bay for a bbq for Beryl and David, thrown by Bernie to say goodbye. What an afternoon, I ate a good lunch and Oliver had a bit more than usual and vomited on the table. Benjamin was on Bernie and Marion’s bed having his afternoon sleep, we got an frantic message from Hettie that Benjamin was awake and crying and had vomited (while lying on his back) on their bed. Benjamin had the bug. Not long after this I started to feel yukky and vomited also.
Merille and Neil arrived and took us back to Milnerton, Benjamin and I spent the next few hours, until around 2am vomiting with diaorea every half hour or so. Stuart, already very tired and well fed up with the boys demands had to look after Benjamin through the night as I was too ill myself. We managed to be coordinated in our vomiting.
I think we managed to go through all Merille’s spare linen, most of the boy’s clothes that had been washed ready for our leaving. I was alright by morning but Benjamin wasn’t. This was the Friday and we were leaving the next day!
We managed to pack and say goodbyes and get out to the airport. Oliver was now on the mend but with diaroeah and Benjamin vomiting half hour before we left. We took spare clothes for the plane and off we went.
By the time we boarded, Stuart was starting to feel unwell. Our plane was diverted to Namibia for fuel, so we were stuck on board for an hour. The plane got very hot and the next thing I see Stuart on his hands and knees on the floor looking very grey. My first thought was not now! He went and locked himself into one of the toilets to get some air and I scrambled to find a steward to help. A bit of drama later, a Dr was on board and whisked him down the front of the plane for some fresh air. Thankfully, that was all it was. The boys slept for most of the flight to uk. We were about ½ hour out of London and Benjamin and Oliver both had v full nappies that seeped onto their pjs. We changed them and threw the pjs out!
Anyway, we managed to get back to Rotterdam and the apartment safe and sound, if not very tired. On the whole, the boys travelled well.
On the Wednesday we took the boys to an indoor play area for a run around. They enjoyed it. It was quite small but the activities were familiar to them. But within 24 hours Oliver was vomiting violently and had diarrhoea with it, we were up all night with him, vomiting every half hour. Poor little fellow first the other injuries, the finger and now this. Benjamin seemed unaffected by it.
We tried to cram some more tourist things in like going up Table Mountain, Kirstenbosch gardens etc, but every time in the car, Oliver would vomit in spectacular fashion. Poor Merille.
On Friday, with Oliver still a bit poorly, throwing up if he ate or drank too much, we went over to Camps Bay for a bbq for Beryl and David, thrown by Bernie to say goodbye. What an afternoon, I ate a good lunch and Oliver had a bit more than usual and vomited on the table. Benjamin was on Bernie and Marion’s bed having his afternoon sleep, we got an frantic message from Hettie that Benjamin was awake and crying and had vomited (while lying on his back) on their bed. Benjamin had the bug. Not long after this I started to feel yukky and vomited also.
Merille and Neil arrived and took us back to Milnerton, Benjamin and I spent the next few hours, until around 2am vomiting with diaorea every half hour or so. Stuart, already very tired and well fed up with the boys demands had to look after Benjamin through the night as I was too ill myself. We managed to be coordinated in our vomiting.
I think we managed to go through all Merille’s spare linen, most of the boy’s clothes that had been washed ready for our leaving. I was alright by morning but Benjamin wasn’t. This was the Friday and we were leaving the next day!
We managed to pack and say goodbyes and get out to the airport. Oliver was now on the mend but with diaroeah and Benjamin vomiting half hour before we left. We took spare clothes for the plane and off we went.
By the time we boarded, Stuart was starting to feel unwell. Our plane was diverted to Namibia for fuel, so we were stuck on board for an hour. The plane got very hot and the next thing I see Stuart on his hands and knees on the floor looking very grey. My first thought was not now! He went and locked himself into one of the toilets to get some air and I scrambled to find a steward to help. A bit of drama later, a Dr was on board and whisked him down the front of the plane for some fresh air. Thankfully, that was all it was. The boys slept for most of the flight to uk. We were about ½ hour out of London and Benjamin and Oliver both had v full nappies that seeped onto their pjs. We changed them and threw the pjs out!
Anyway, we managed to get back to Rotterdam and the apartment safe and sound, if not very tired. On the whole, the boys travelled well.
The lads turn 2
October 11, 2004
The family organised a great day out for their second birthday at a vineyard in Stellenbosch. A lovely warm day, the whole family came we had picnic baskets, the works. I loved every minute of being surrounded by family and my special men.
The day started out quite dramatically though, Stuart was in the shower and I was out of the room momentarily and the boys were in the bathroom with Stuart. I heard the bathroom door bang then again and thought that a finger might get hurt. I ran in to see Oliver mid scream (without the noise) and his finger bleeding, he had had it caught in the hinge and Benjamin was repeatedly trying to slam the door shut but it wouldn’t. Poor little Oliver, he had a badly mashed and very sore, bleeding finger, he screamed and screamed and I couldn’t settle him. The finger was bleeding and he was fighting me as I had him on my lap, I just burst into tears. Merille and Neil rescued him from me and tried to dress his finger. WE decided a visit to the local a&e was called for, just to dress it and check that nothing was broken.
It turned out that the skin was torn almost to the bone and the bone had a small chip. The dr thought it was unnecessary to put a splint as the size of the chip was very small. He was so good about it tho. R600 later, we went to the birthday party.
It was such a lovely day and Oliver soon forgot about his injury, although he was quite protective of his finger making sure that noone interfered with it.
The family organised a great day out for their second birthday at a vineyard in Stellenbosch. A lovely warm day, the whole family came we had picnic baskets, the works. I loved every minute of being surrounded by family and my special men.
The day started out quite dramatically though, Stuart was in the shower and I was out of the room momentarily and the boys were in the bathroom with Stuart. I heard the bathroom door bang then again and thought that a finger might get hurt. I ran in to see Oliver mid scream (without the noise) and his finger bleeding, he had had it caught in the hinge and Benjamin was repeatedly trying to slam the door shut but it wouldn’t. Poor little Oliver, he had a badly mashed and very sore, bleeding finger, he screamed and screamed and I couldn’t settle him. The finger was bleeding and he was fighting me as I had him on my lap, I just burst into tears. Merille and Neil rescued him from me and tried to dress his finger. WE decided a visit to the local a&e was called for, just to dress it and check that nothing was broken.
It turned out that the skin was torn almost to the bone and the bone had a small chip. The dr thought it was unnecessary to put a splint as the size of the chip was very small. He was so good about it tho. R600 later, we went to the birthday party.
It was such a lovely day and Oliver soon forgot about his injury, although he was quite protective of his finger making sure that noone interfered with it.
Merille's new house
End October
Our trip to Sth Africa is over and the last week just got worse and worse. We stayed with Merille in her new house, which was the highlight for me, although on the first day we arrived, there was no furniture – at all. Her move in had been delayed by various events. We felt so bad for her that we added another 4 bodies to all the stress of moving into a new home. Fortunately, we had ended up having a quiet and relaxing week in Knysna.
We left on Thursday and stayed overnight in a casino resort about an hour out of CapeTown called Caledon. We booked a baby sitter for the boys and their was a crèche also, which we made use of for an hour and half. We used that time to enjoy the hot springs and various amenities before collecting them again.
We felt quite refreshed after the swim and the break away from them. The resort grounds were lovely and there was a good play area for the boys to run around in.
Our one night finished very quickly and we were off back to CapeTown again.
Back at Merille’s place, I felt so sorry for her that she was experiencing the house settling in pains in full view of us. She really wanted us there and I loved spending time with her but it was hard work for her. The builders were a bit slack in lots of areas and within a few days in the house they were being patently obvious, I think also she was quite easy on the builders and really needed to get in the house as quickly as possible.
The week went very quickly and Stuart and I made sure we had lots of time to do our own thing and he managed to get some golf in also. I managed to have some time alone with Merille. The boys were nightmares for the first couple of nights, screaming and screaming and not wanting to sleep. Oliver continued his fascination and love affair with Joan. They soon settled down once the place became familiar to them and all the moving and noise had stopped.
Our trip to Sth Africa is over and the last week just got worse and worse. We stayed with Merille in her new house, which was the highlight for me, although on the first day we arrived, there was no furniture – at all. Her move in had been delayed by various events. We felt so bad for her that we added another 4 bodies to all the stress of moving into a new home. Fortunately, we had ended up having a quiet and relaxing week in Knysna.
We left on Thursday and stayed overnight in a casino resort about an hour out of CapeTown called Caledon. We booked a baby sitter for the boys and their was a crèche also, which we made use of for an hour and half. We used that time to enjoy the hot springs and various amenities before collecting them again.
We felt quite refreshed after the swim and the break away from them. The resort grounds were lovely and there was a good play area for the boys to run around in.
Our one night finished very quickly and we were off back to CapeTown again.
Back at Merille’s place, I felt so sorry for her that she was experiencing the house settling in pains in full view of us. She really wanted us there and I loved spending time with her but it was hard work for her. The builders were a bit slack in lots of areas and within a few days in the house they were being patently obvious, I think also she was quite easy on the builders and really needed to get in the house as quickly as possible.
The week went very quickly and Stuart and I made sure we had lots of time to do our own thing and he managed to get some golf in also. I managed to have some time alone with Merille. The boys were nightmares for the first couple of nights, screaming and screaming and not wanting to sleep. Oliver continued his fascination and love affair with Joan. They soon settled down once the place became familiar to them and all the moving and noise had stopped.
Just us now, Kynsna
October 5, 2004
Stuart and David are out playing golf at a local Knysna course and I have some needed time to myself. Beryl is here and the rest of the Smith family left on Sunday. The boys are much more settled now. The peace and quiet and familiarity of people and routine must be doing them good. They are even settling in bed very well at night. Oliver has been such a handful, we don’t know whether it is the dreaded “two’s” or something else. Either way it is a huge change in his behaviour and quite upsetting for Stuart and I.
When I think about it, ever since he came out of hospital earlier in the year he has changed. Maybe he became accustomed to me alone being with him in the hospital all week, without having to compete with Benjamin for my attention. Up until that time, he didn’t seem bothered whether he was cuddled, Benjamin seemed to be the one that craved the bodily connection and skin to skin, cheek to cheek type of cuddle.
I wonder if Oliver has just been completely overwhelmed by the noise and people that he didn’t know how to cope. He has been completely clingy and demanding, not eating huge amounts or sleeping, just wanting to eat buckets of yoghurt. Benjamin on the other hand seems to be taking it all in his stride, he is very confident and relaxed and is quite happy to find something to do, I feel guilty that Oliver is taking all my attention away from him. When Oliver acts up, he seems to make himself into the perfect obedient child; it’s strange. Both boys went down for a sleep no trouble at all today Oliver even said he wanted to go to bed. Who are we to argue?
On another note, their language development is leaping along while still very much using their sign language. Benjamin is a great mimic and copies everything you say and that he hears, the clarity of their words is improving also by the day.
This stay in Knysna has been an interesting experience, as with most of Africa the extremes of wealth are fairly mind blowing. Staying on this island is surreal, a totally contained/confined settlement of very wealthy people. Most of the houses are holiday houses but are full of mansions, with private jetties and obligatory boats, jet skis, etc. When you leave the island you go to a normal holiday town with a mixture of tourist and local shops.
When you drive out of the town in both directions you see the flip side of all this wealth, the absolute poverty in the settlements that the workers live in. Some have electricity and look quite organised communities but they are shacks on dirt, nothing more. You would be pressed to find a non-black face in these areas.
Plettenberg Bay was the same, beautiful beach million rand homes and shantytowns on the outskirts. At the end of the day you see all the women heading off to their bus to take them home.
On Theson Island there is still a lot of building activity with several hundred houses yet to be built. There is a constant flow of traffic through the settlement and the ipace of work is truly impressive.
We took the boys to a monkey forest not far from Knysna yesterday. It was a great place and the boys were fascinated with the monkeys climbing around. We didn’t see a huge variety of species but it was a good day out anyway.
When we got back I saw something that really disturbed me. The rear of the house backs onto a waterway and along side and opposite, other houses do the same. Just as three boys were leaping off the jetty (wet bikes moored aside), a flatbed truck was passing over a bridge not far from the house on its way off the complex for the day. It was carrying at least 20 black workers, all huddled on the back.
It still seems to be (or maybe I am missing the point), that the have-nots get trucked to the island to work while the haves continue to enjoy their privileged life in their homogenised, coordinated, catalogue housing development.
I talked this over with Stuart who thought that it was really no different in any other country, New Zealand for example. But my observations have been a huge variety of nationalities on building sites and have seen many labourers that are not Polynesian or Maori or whatever. I don’t think it is a race related job in NZ.
The other amazing thing is the sheer amount of guys working on each of the homes at any one time. I counted five guys working together in one small area for one guy to lay bricks. One on ground level would be throwing the bricks up, one catching and throwing to another guy to put on a pile (not stacked), then that guy would throw a brick to another fellow standing on the wall, whose only job seemed to be to hand it to the fellow who was laying the brick. There were another three guys organising the mortar side of things. One guy mixing, he then gives to another guy a blob who then hurls it up to another fellow who hands the mortar to the brickie. Amazing.
Despite all the cultural shocks and daily dramas from the boys, we are really enjoying being tourists and having some family time.
Yesterday, we took the boys to Monkeyland about 45 mins drive away. We decided to take the guided tour through the forest (R80), then eat lunch at the open air café afterward. Really enjoyed the whole visit and think the boys did also. There were loads of monkeys climbing all around the place and Oliver and Benjamin had a good look at them all. They constantly used their signs with noises and were generally quite happy.
We also visited an elephant park, again not far from Knysna. The grownups had a great time but the boys weren’t so sure. They were more interested in the truck ride out to the animals. In picture books they love looking at the elephants but I don’t think they could quite adjust to the sheer size of the animals and were really unsure of them. We were fascinated and thought they were gorgeous, especially the babies. I didn’t expect their skin to be so warm – it was tough but they were so sensitive to touch. And those trunks!
Stuart and David are out playing golf at a local Knysna course and I have some needed time to myself. Beryl is here and the rest of the Smith family left on Sunday. The boys are much more settled now. The peace and quiet and familiarity of people and routine must be doing them good. They are even settling in bed very well at night. Oliver has been such a handful, we don’t know whether it is the dreaded “two’s” or something else. Either way it is a huge change in his behaviour and quite upsetting for Stuart and I.
When I think about it, ever since he came out of hospital earlier in the year he has changed. Maybe he became accustomed to me alone being with him in the hospital all week, without having to compete with Benjamin for my attention. Up until that time, he didn’t seem bothered whether he was cuddled, Benjamin seemed to be the one that craved the bodily connection and skin to skin, cheek to cheek type of cuddle.
I wonder if Oliver has just been completely overwhelmed by the noise and people that he didn’t know how to cope. He has been completely clingy and demanding, not eating huge amounts or sleeping, just wanting to eat buckets of yoghurt. Benjamin on the other hand seems to be taking it all in his stride, he is very confident and relaxed and is quite happy to find something to do, I feel guilty that Oliver is taking all my attention away from him. When Oliver acts up, he seems to make himself into the perfect obedient child; it’s strange. Both boys went down for a sleep no trouble at all today Oliver even said he wanted to go to bed. Who are we to argue?
On another note, their language development is leaping along while still very much using their sign language. Benjamin is a great mimic and copies everything you say and that he hears, the clarity of their words is improving also by the day.
This stay in Knysna has been an interesting experience, as with most of Africa the extremes of wealth are fairly mind blowing. Staying on this island is surreal, a totally contained/confined settlement of very wealthy people. Most of the houses are holiday houses but are full of mansions, with private jetties and obligatory boats, jet skis, etc. When you leave the island you go to a normal holiday town with a mixture of tourist and local shops.
When you drive out of the town in both directions you see the flip side of all this wealth, the absolute poverty in the settlements that the workers live in. Some have electricity and look quite organised communities but they are shacks on dirt, nothing more. You would be pressed to find a non-black face in these areas.
Plettenberg Bay was the same, beautiful beach million rand homes and shantytowns on the outskirts. At the end of the day you see all the women heading off to their bus to take them home.
On Theson Island there is still a lot of building activity with several hundred houses yet to be built. There is a constant flow of traffic through the settlement and the ipace of work is truly impressive.
We took the boys to a monkey forest not far from Knysna yesterday. It was a great place and the boys were fascinated with the monkeys climbing around. We didn’t see a huge variety of species but it was a good day out anyway.
When we got back I saw something that really disturbed me. The rear of the house backs onto a waterway and along side and opposite, other houses do the same. Just as three boys were leaping off the jetty (wet bikes moored aside), a flatbed truck was passing over a bridge not far from the house on its way off the complex for the day. It was carrying at least 20 black workers, all huddled on the back.
It still seems to be (or maybe I am missing the point), that the have-nots get trucked to the island to work while the haves continue to enjoy their privileged life in their homogenised, coordinated, catalogue housing development.
I talked this over with Stuart who thought that it was really no different in any other country, New Zealand for example. But my observations have been a huge variety of nationalities on building sites and have seen many labourers that are not Polynesian or Maori or whatever. I don’t think it is a race related job in NZ.
The other amazing thing is the sheer amount of guys working on each of the homes at any one time. I counted five guys working together in one small area for one guy to lay bricks. One on ground level would be throwing the bricks up, one catching and throwing to another guy to put on a pile (not stacked), then that guy would throw a brick to another fellow standing on the wall, whose only job seemed to be to hand it to the fellow who was laying the brick. There were another three guys organising the mortar side of things. One guy mixing, he then gives to another guy a blob who then hurls it up to another fellow who hands the mortar to the brickie. Amazing.
Despite all the cultural shocks and daily dramas from the boys, we are really enjoying being tourists and having some family time.
Yesterday, we took the boys to Monkeyland about 45 mins drive away. We decided to take the guided tour through the forest (R80), then eat lunch at the open air café afterward. Really enjoyed the whole visit and think the boys did also. There were loads of monkeys climbing all around the place and Oliver and Benjamin had a good look at them all. They constantly used their signs with noises and were generally quite happy.
We also visited an elephant park, again not far from Knysna. The grownups had a great time but the boys weren’t so sure. They were more interested in the truck ride out to the animals. In picture books they love looking at the elephants but I don’t think they could quite adjust to the sheer size of the animals and were really unsure of them. We were fascinated and thought they were gorgeous, especially the babies. I didn’t expect their skin to be so warm – it was tough but they were so sensitive to touch. And those trunks!
Knysna, Sth Africa
October 3, 2004
We are all up in Knysna now with the Smith extended family for the weekend. They all head off today and we will stay on until the end of the week. We are here at Bev and Peter and Dale and Lisa’s house on Theson Island. It is an exclusive, gated community with architecture based on the US west coast style. There is some serious money invested in this community but it all feels quite contrived at this stage of building (400 still to be built) and quite pristine. The houses are built around several man-made canals and islands, cobbled pavements, little bridges, lovely plantings etc but all very “homogenised” and I can’t help but thinking utopian white sth Africa. Very cynical I know.
There are 19 of us here including us and I think the boys are quite overwhelmed by all the noise and activity. The house is all tiled with nothing much to absorb the sound, it just bounces around everywhere. The kids are all very lively and busy and everyone seems to talk at such high volume. It is ages since I have been to a full family get together of old in NZ (too much family politics and grievances to be held now anyway) so have become accustomed to peace and quiet – I prefer it.
The boys are so clingy and don’t want me out of their sight, they want to be carried everywhere and don’t want to go into their buggies. If one wants up then so does the other and there is punching, scratching and biting to compete for my attention. The one that doesn’t get picked up just screams and won’t be consoled until I pick them up, which involves putting the held one down – also tantrum. Even settling them to sleep is hard with lots of screaming and running around. Oliver in particular is difficult, we aren’t getting him to bed until 9.30pm, very out of character, he screams and screams and doesn’t want to be left alone – I now know what Kate and Alex go through every night with Oscar, I don’t know how they have coped this far.
We don’t have nightlights for them here and I think that has a lot to do with things. They have always had a light in NZ we didn’t need them at the apartment as there was a streetlight outside their window. Now they hate the dark, when we turn off the light they are up and out of bed running to the switch saying “uh oh light, uh oh light”.
Everyone thinks Oliver’s clinginess is because he spends too much time with me and noone else, I feel this is a criticism. Probably true, but we/I have had little choice since they were born. It is common practice for home help/nannies/housekeepers here and not questioned, it is not like that in most other western countries and they don’t seem to understand it.
Stuart seems to have withdrawn into a grumpy shell also and this is creating quite a lot of friction between us, he doesn’t seem to want to come out of it. I feel I am walking on crushed glass, negotiating my way around the situation without understanding it. He doesn’t seem to be interested in the boys and I seem to spend much of my time trying to keep the boys happy and protecting Stuart from them. I am desperately exhausted, emotionally and physically but can’t see a way out. He works hard and I know that but I do too, the boys are hard work with no intellectual stimulation, just demand upon demand. He is upstairs at the moment having a sleep in, the boys are waking up at around 5.30am and having tantrums instantly, demanding food and pulling us out of bed – it is a horrible way to wake up after very little sleep during the night.
Beryl and David are with us also for two weeks, we collected them from the airport on the way to Knysna. I think the novelty has worn off for David, he seems to need a very structured day and likes plans and a schedule, with the boys so unsettled it is impossible for us to know what will happen each day. As they are still small, our schedule is still planned around them. I find myself saying that they all go off and do what ever and I will stay at home so the boys can sleep in their beds in quiet rather than being shuttled around. Stuart has declared that we won’t be having any more holidays!
On another note, Merille has a new man who has come away with us also, very brave. He is very different to what I expected, although I had no real expectation. My only experience of Merille’s taste in blokes was Charl, who I didn’t warm to. Neil is quite different to Charl thankfully and M seems very relaxed and happy in his company. Sean seems to really enjoy him also.
There is bustle going on around me while I sit and write this, Nicky and Megan are busy making pikelets, which the boys are enjoying, they smell very inviting.
I think Stuart and I need some quality time together away from the boys. The last few months have been extremely stressful and I fear that we won’t know what to say to each other soon, just cooexist along side the boys. However, given how clingy and unreasonable the boys are, I can’t see it happening for a while. And can see even less chance once we are back in Holland.
The boys are quite taken with Joan and immediately started to call her granny, as soon as they saw her at the airport. Oliver in particular adores her and wants to climb up on her knee and have a cuddle as soon as he sees her. He is so heavy poor Joan graciously takes it in her stride as we try and peel Oliver off her to let her sit down, but he is completely determined to stay with her. I think Beryl is quite miffed by it but seems to take it in her stride. They get so excited when they see her.
We are all up in Knysna now with the Smith extended family for the weekend. They all head off today and we will stay on until the end of the week. We are here at Bev and Peter and Dale and Lisa’s house on Theson Island. It is an exclusive, gated community with architecture based on the US west coast style. There is some serious money invested in this community but it all feels quite contrived at this stage of building (400 still to be built) and quite pristine. The houses are built around several man-made canals and islands, cobbled pavements, little bridges, lovely plantings etc but all very “homogenised” and I can’t help but thinking utopian white sth Africa. Very cynical I know.
There are 19 of us here including us and I think the boys are quite overwhelmed by all the noise and activity. The house is all tiled with nothing much to absorb the sound, it just bounces around everywhere. The kids are all very lively and busy and everyone seems to talk at such high volume. It is ages since I have been to a full family get together of old in NZ (too much family politics and grievances to be held now anyway) so have become accustomed to peace and quiet – I prefer it.
The boys are so clingy and don’t want me out of their sight, they want to be carried everywhere and don’t want to go into their buggies. If one wants up then so does the other and there is punching, scratching and biting to compete for my attention. The one that doesn’t get picked up just screams and won’t be consoled until I pick them up, which involves putting the held one down – also tantrum. Even settling them to sleep is hard with lots of screaming and running around. Oliver in particular is difficult, we aren’t getting him to bed until 9.30pm, very out of character, he screams and screams and doesn’t want to be left alone – I now know what Kate and Alex go through every night with Oscar, I don’t know how they have coped this far.
We don’t have nightlights for them here and I think that has a lot to do with things. They have always had a light in NZ we didn’t need them at the apartment as there was a streetlight outside their window. Now they hate the dark, when we turn off the light they are up and out of bed running to the switch saying “uh oh light, uh oh light”.
Everyone thinks Oliver’s clinginess is because he spends too much time with me and noone else, I feel this is a criticism. Probably true, but we/I have had little choice since they were born. It is common practice for home help/nannies/housekeepers here and not questioned, it is not like that in most other western countries and they don’t seem to understand it.
Stuart seems to have withdrawn into a grumpy shell also and this is creating quite a lot of friction between us, he doesn’t seem to want to come out of it. I feel I am walking on crushed glass, negotiating my way around the situation without understanding it. He doesn’t seem to be interested in the boys and I seem to spend much of my time trying to keep the boys happy and protecting Stuart from them. I am desperately exhausted, emotionally and physically but can’t see a way out. He works hard and I know that but I do too, the boys are hard work with no intellectual stimulation, just demand upon demand. He is upstairs at the moment having a sleep in, the boys are waking up at around 5.30am and having tantrums instantly, demanding food and pulling us out of bed – it is a horrible way to wake up after very little sleep during the night.
Beryl and David are with us also for two weeks, we collected them from the airport on the way to Knysna. I think the novelty has worn off for David, he seems to need a very structured day and likes plans and a schedule, with the boys so unsettled it is impossible for us to know what will happen each day. As they are still small, our schedule is still planned around them. I find myself saying that they all go off and do what ever and I will stay at home so the boys can sleep in their beds in quiet rather than being shuttled around. Stuart has declared that we won’t be having any more holidays!
On another note, Merille has a new man who has come away with us also, very brave. He is very different to what I expected, although I had no real expectation. My only experience of Merille’s taste in blokes was Charl, who I didn’t warm to. Neil is quite different to Charl thankfully and M seems very relaxed and happy in his company. Sean seems to really enjoy him also.
There is bustle going on around me while I sit and write this, Nicky and Megan are busy making pikelets, which the boys are enjoying, they smell very inviting.
I think Stuart and I need some quality time together away from the boys. The last few months have been extremely stressful and I fear that we won’t know what to say to each other soon, just cooexist along side the boys. However, given how clingy and unreasonable the boys are, I can’t see it happening for a while. And can see even less chance once we are back in Holland.
The boys are quite taken with Joan and immediately started to call her granny, as soon as they saw her at the airport. Oliver in particular adores her and wants to climb up on her knee and have a cuddle as soon as he sees her. He is so heavy poor Joan graciously takes it in her stride as we try and peel Oliver off her to let her sit down, but he is completely determined to stay with her. I think Beryl is quite miffed by it but seems to take it in her stride. They get so excited when they see her.
Excape to South Africa
We flew out here on Sunday and the boys surprised their travel weary parents. They were really good. We had to catch a train from Rotterdam to Amsterdam airport and they seemed to enjoy that first train experience. By the time we boarded at Schipol airport and departed it was 10.30pm, well after their bedtime. We gave them a good run around at the airport and then got them into pj’s ready for their bed/sleep. They were pretty tired so no need for the back up supply of Phenergen. They then slept until 7am, only two hours before landing in CT. We however, got next to no sleep as the SAA seats are like concrete with no foot rests or head wings. My bum was so sore but the up was that the boys slept and gave us some peace.
On the first leg to Amsterdam we had to make a train change at Leiden, there was a three minute time delay for the connecting train. The other had pulled up behind. We had two suitcases, a carry on with the boys in the double buggy. We couldn’t easily find the wheelchair access doors to the carriage but the conductor didn’t seem too bothered – in a typically dutch approach, didn’t help either. He just blew his whistle and closed the doors with us on the platform. The train pulled away and we were speechless with no idea when the next train would arrive, luckily it was only 10 mins. I was so desperate to get out of Holland at this stage because of the general avoidance of generosity that this didn’t help the dutch cause in my mind.
So, when a woman at Schipol airport tried to cut across me pulling her suitcase behind (the dutch are always in such a hurry), without any pardon me’s, I didn’t break my stride and just rammed and tangled her suitcase with the buggy. She wasn’t impressed but I just ignored her. It is amazing what six weeks has done to me. When in Holland, do as the dutch do.
It is such a refreshing change to be in SA, just what we need. Apart from the boys being unsettled at their new accom, it is so relaxed here, people walk at a normal pace, don’t cut in front of you and move out of the way when needed.
The weather also has been great over the last few days, generally in the late 20’s, sunny with a light breeze. As we are in Camps Bay, we have been able to walk down to the beach and let the boys have a play in the sand. We have also put the spa pool to good use, when the boys slept, we also relaxed on the pool side loungers.
So far my cautious little Oliver has managed quite a few scrapes and incidents. He has connected with a nasty thorn on a rose bush, it made a nasty scratch on his neck. He has managed to slip into the spa pool going completely under to the bottom, I managed to haul him out by his shirt. He was walking so carefully around, making sure not to go to close to the edge but managed to step onto a wet tile and in he went. Very frightening for the little fellow.
Bernie dropped us off in the city for a look around on our own and we had arranged to catch a cab home. We had a great day wandering around starting at the top of St Georges Mall and ending up at the Waterfront. It was a good walk and the boys slept in the buggy for quite a long portion of it. On our way back we were looking for a cab back to Camps Bay, we decided to stop in at the Cullinan Hotel to ask where the nearest cab rank was. Bernie told us that it would be around R7, his expectation anyway based on what we were unsure. But a very sober fellow, the concierge, called Bernard offered to drive us for R100. Stuart was waiting outside, I just wanted to get home and a lift from Bernard seemed like a lovely option. He reckoned that it would cost the same in a metered taxi anyway. So, we went with the serious Bernard.
A very smooth ride and worth the R100, and we still don’t know how much it would have cost if we had used a meter taxi. Never mind!
We had a great time shopping for all sorts of stuff the locals were very glad was leaving the country I’m sure. Lots of kitsch black artworks, a painting, and various other stuff. I could have bought so much more.
On the first leg to Amsterdam we had to make a train change at Leiden, there was a three minute time delay for the connecting train. The other had pulled up behind. We had two suitcases, a carry on with the boys in the double buggy. We couldn’t easily find the wheelchair access doors to the carriage but the conductor didn’t seem too bothered – in a typically dutch approach, didn’t help either. He just blew his whistle and closed the doors with us on the platform. The train pulled away and we were speechless with no idea when the next train would arrive, luckily it was only 10 mins. I was so desperate to get out of Holland at this stage because of the general avoidance of generosity that this didn’t help the dutch cause in my mind.
So, when a woman at Schipol airport tried to cut across me pulling her suitcase behind (the dutch are always in such a hurry), without any pardon me’s, I didn’t break my stride and just rammed and tangled her suitcase with the buggy. She wasn’t impressed but I just ignored her. It is amazing what six weeks has done to me. When in Holland, do as the dutch do.
It is such a refreshing change to be in SA, just what we need. Apart from the boys being unsettled at their new accom, it is so relaxed here, people walk at a normal pace, don’t cut in front of you and move out of the way when needed.
The weather also has been great over the last few days, generally in the late 20’s, sunny with a light breeze. As we are in Camps Bay, we have been able to walk down to the beach and let the boys have a play in the sand. We have also put the spa pool to good use, when the boys slept, we also relaxed on the pool side loungers.
So far my cautious little Oliver has managed quite a few scrapes and incidents. He has connected with a nasty thorn on a rose bush, it made a nasty scratch on his neck. He has managed to slip into the spa pool going completely under to the bottom, I managed to haul him out by his shirt. He was walking so carefully around, making sure not to go to close to the edge but managed to step onto a wet tile and in he went. Very frightening for the little fellow.
Bernie dropped us off in the city for a look around on our own and we had arranged to catch a cab home. We had a great day wandering around starting at the top of St Georges Mall and ending up at the Waterfront. It was a good walk and the boys slept in the buggy for quite a long portion of it. On our way back we were looking for a cab back to Camps Bay, we decided to stop in at the Cullinan Hotel to ask where the nearest cab rank was. Bernie told us that it would be around R7, his expectation anyway based on what we were unsure. But a very sober fellow, the concierge, called Bernard offered to drive us for R100. Stuart was waiting outside, I just wanted to get home and a lift from Bernard seemed like a lovely option. He reckoned that it would cost the same in a metered taxi anyway. So, we went with the serious Bernard.
A very smooth ride and worth the R100, and we still don’t know how much it would have cost if we had used a meter taxi. Never mind!
We had a great time shopping for all sorts of stuff the locals were very glad was leaving the country I’m sure. Lots of kitsch black artworks, a painting, and various other stuff. I could have bought so much more.
Service, shopping and the Dutch
September 24, 2004
While I am having a grumble about the cloggies, Noelene from Mums and Tots told me a funny story about her Dutch neighbours. They recently spent four days in New York with them and while they were there the neighbours constantly complained about the lack of customer service and courtesy shown by the Americans. We had to laugh, as this statement completely sums up any shopping experience in Holland.
I needed to buy a new hair dryer so went down to Media Mart to get one a couple of days ago. Thought it would be a relatively straightforward procedure but no. There were about 15 or so different models to choose from, I made my selection but the box was empty, along with three other boxes. I found a staff member who informed me that she was washing machines only and to find another person ‘over there’. I found another person ‘over there’ (had to wait while she finished her conversation with colleague, another dutch thing) and said that I would like to buy this particular dryer but the box is empty, stupidly assuming that the contents were out the back or somewhere else. The brightspark informed me that the box was empty, I said yes so was it somewhere else. We went to the display and found that the other two boxes were also empty, she informed me that they were also empty and that they were no longer stocking this item. I asked about the display item, no I couldn’t have that one because it was a display and suggested that they remove the empty boxes and the display if they couldn’t sell it. Her response was to put my empty box back on the shelf and arrange the others neatly also so there wouldn’t be a gap, end of conversation. I selected another.
The other very odd thing about shopping here in any form is the very odd opening hours. I now realise that we are quite lucky in New Zealand with the liberal trading laws. The retailers woke up to the fact that keeping the public happy and opening up on weekends is good for business, as the weekends are generally the best time for most people to have a good meander around.
Late night shopping is Friday night, which covers the centrum, shopping malls, supermarkets and most suburbs until around 8 or 9 pm. All good. The logic of opening hours of the other days is a bit of a mystery. The usual opening times are 9-5pm Monday to Friday and 10-4/5pm Saturdays. Sundays the shops open from lunchtime till around 4/5pm but only in centrum, in all other places, only on the first Sunday of the month, including the big places like IKEA. The suburbs are all closed completely and you don’t see a soul as they have all gone into the centrum or have gone cycling around Kralingse Bos.
Apparently, there is no demand for shopping on a Sunday and to support this, everyone in Rotterdam floods into the centrum, you can barely move for all the people milling around. The storeowners are probably out shopping anyway.
Then, because the retailers are so exhausted from all this frantic selling actively with their very generous opening hours over the weekend, they are closed on a Monday until lunchtime, even the outer suburbs that haven’t opened. This includes supermarkets and cafes, the post office, banks – everywhere and all over Rotterdam.
The other weird thing is the supermarket opening times they all close at 6pm during the week, 8pm on a Friday and 4 or 5pm on a Saturday. Forget Sundays, not sure if the first Sunday in the month rule applies. There are very few corner stores or dairies (none in centrum) so if you have forgotten to get something on your way home from work, you just can’t pop down to local the dairy – there aren’t any.
Rotterdam is filled with high-density housing and apartment complexes, especially in the city area so it is strange that there is nothing like the StarMart anywhere.
While I am having a grumble about the cloggies, Noelene from Mums and Tots told me a funny story about her Dutch neighbours. They recently spent four days in New York with them and while they were there the neighbours constantly complained about the lack of customer service and courtesy shown by the Americans. We had to laugh, as this statement completely sums up any shopping experience in Holland.
I needed to buy a new hair dryer so went down to Media Mart to get one a couple of days ago. Thought it would be a relatively straightforward procedure but no. There were about 15 or so different models to choose from, I made my selection but the box was empty, along with three other boxes. I found a staff member who informed me that she was washing machines only and to find another person ‘over there’. I found another person ‘over there’ (had to wait while she finished her conversation with colleague, another dutch thing) and said that I would like to buy this particular dryer but the box is empty, stupidly assuming that the contents were out the back or somewhere else. The brightspark informed me that the box was empty, I said yes so was it somewhere else. We went to the display and found that the other two boxes were also empty, she informed me that they were also empty and that they were no longer stocking this item. I asked about the display item, no I couldn’t have that one because it was a display and suggested that they remove the empty boxes and the display if they couldn’t sell it. Her response was to put my empty box back on the shelf and arrange the others neatly also so there wouldn’t be a gap, end of conversation. I selected another.
The other very odd thing about shopping here in any form is the very odd opening hours. I now realise that we are quite lucky in New Zealand with the liberal trading laws. The retailers woke up to the fact that keeping the public happy and opening up on weekends is good for business, as the weekends are generally the best time for most people to have a good meander around.
Late night shopping is Friday night, which covers the centrum, shopping malls, supermarkets and most suburbs until around 8 or 9 pm. All good. The logic of opening hours of the other days is a bit of a mystery. The usual opening times are 9-5pm Monday to Friday and 10-4/5pm Saturdays. Sundays the shops open from lunchtime till around 4/5pm but only in centrum, in all other places, only on the first Sunday of the month, including the big places like IKEA. The suburbs are all closed completely and you don’t see a soul as they have all gone into the centrum or have gone cycling around Kralingse Bos.
Apparently, there is no demand for shopping on a Sunday and to support this, everyone in Rotterdam floods into the centrum, you can barely move for all the people milling around. The storeowners are probably out shopping anyway.
Then, because the retailers are so exhausted from all this frantic selling actively with their very generous opening hours over the weekend, they are closed on a Monday until lunchtime, even the outer suburbs that haven’t opened. This includes supermarkets and cafes, the post office, banks – everywhere and all over Rotterdam.
The other weird thing is the supermarket opening times they all close at 6pm during the week, 8pm on a Friday and 4 or 5pm on a Saturday. Forget Sundays, not sure if the first Sunday in the month rule applies. There are very few corner stores or dairies (none in centrum) so if you have forgotten to get something on your way home from work, you just can’t pop down to local the dairy – there aren’t any.
Rotterdam is filled with high-density housing and apartment complexes, especially in the city area so it is strange that there is nothing like the StarMart anywhere.
Moving, not today then
September 24, 2004
Well. Didn’t even have to wait until Sunday. It is early morning and as expected, the container won’t be delivered today. I was really looking forward to leaving the apartment and getting all our gear but it was not to be, very disappointing. At least this will make the holiday packing easier; we have very few clothes to choose from. The container has cleared customs in the paperwork part but it had to go to Utrecht and would be delivered to Kralingen on the way back to Rotterdam. It is all to do with the location of the moving coy’s distribution centre, it happens to be in Utrecht. We have now found out that the company policy is not to deliver direct from the wharf but that all containers have to go to their warehouse in Utrecht to be cleared (overnight) then delivered. Another step we weren’t informed of. Because of the strike on the wharf yesterday, there is a backlog.
The container has been here for two weeks now.
The moving company are going to store the container/goods whilst we are away and we will arrange delivery (sometime before Christmas hopefully). About an hour after the first phonecall to say the container wouldn’t be delivered, we received another from the moving company about payment of storage. Typical cloggies, never mind they have screwed up they are more concerned about who (not them) is going to pay for it. They said that they will keep the goods in the container for storage rather than unload, fair enough, but that given Stuart works for PONL could he please arrange that they don’t get charged for it!!! It’s their fault.
Well. Didn’t even have to wait until Sunday. It is early morning and as expected, the container won’t be delivered today. I was really looking forward to leaving the apartment and getting all our gear but it was not to be, very disappointing. At least this will make the holiday packing easier; we have very few clothes to choose from. The container has cleared customs in the paperwork part but it had to go to Utrecht and would be delivered to Kralingen on the way back to Rotterdam. It is all to do with the location of the moving coy’s distribution centre, it happens to be in Utrecht. We have now found out that the company policy is not to deliver direct from the wharf but that all containers have to go to their warehouse in Utrecht to be cleared (overnight) then delivered. Another step we weren’t informed of. Because of the strike on the wharf yesterday, there is a backlog.
The container has been here for two weeks now.
The moving company are going to store the container/goods whilst we are away and we will arrange delivery (sometime before Christmas hopefully). About an hour after the first phonecall to say the container wouldn’t be delivered, we received another from the moving company about payment of storage. Typical cloggies, never mind they have screwed up they are more concerned about who (not them) is going to pay for it. They said that they will keep the goods in the container for storage rather than unload, fair enough, but that given Stuart works for PONL could he please arrange that they don’t get charged for it!!! It’s their fault.
Seasons are changing
September 23, 2004
Autumn has arrived although it is not too bad. There is a bit of a chill in the wind and the leaves are falling, it has started to rain more frequently. Apparently this is the pattern until the snow arrives. I have no idea what to expect when winter hits, I have never lived with snow before only wind and rain – know how to deal with that. The boys are nearly grown out of most of their clothes and don’t really have the appropriate clothes for here. I will do some shopping in SA as it is much cheaper (R8:E1) but I guess there isn’t much call for snow clothes there. I bought some clothes in NZ but they need things like gumboots and raincoats and snow clothes.
We leave for SA on Sunday and will be taking the train to Amsterdam then flying via the UK. The whole trip will take around 16 hours, so not as long as from NZ but at least this time we know what to expect from the boys. If we are still in the apartment, the train stop is only minutes away, if we move to the new house, then it becomes a bit more difficult. Will see on Sunday!
Autumn has arrived although it is not too bad. There is a bit of a chill in the wind and the leaves are falling, it has started to rain more frequently. Apparently this is the pattern until the snow arrives. I have no idea what to expect when winter hits, I have never lived with snow before only wind and rain – know how to deal with that. The boys are nearly grown out of most of their clothes and don’t really have the appropriate clothes for here. I will do some shopping in SA as it is much cheaper (R8:E1) but I guess there isn’t much call for snow clothes there. I bought some clothes in NZ but they need things like gumboots and raincoats and snow clothes.
We leave for SA on Sunday and will be taking the train to Amsterdam then flying via the UK. The whole trip will take around 16 hours, so not as long as from NZ but at least this time we know what to expect from the boys. If we are still in the apartment, the train stop is only minutes away, if we move to the new house, then it becomes a bit more difficult. Will see on Sunday!
Oh, Navigation, where are you?
September 23, 2004
We haven’t managed to resolve the sat-nav problem, for some reason the unit cannot find the satellite, we have had three new cables but this doesn’t seem to be the problem. We can programme in maps and get route directions but it wont talk or replot your position if you get lost. The store has given us a help desk number to call but the problem may be with the palm pilot itself.
My navigation skills are improving but still manage to take wrong turns, at least now I can get my way out. It sounds stupid but Stuart gave me a crash course in how to follow directions and drive and it has helped. I find the road markings and placements of street signs really frustrating. For some reason, the name of the street you are turning into is not facing you, so you have no way of seeing it as you turn your corner. The other thing is on other roads the sign is not clearly at the beginning but half way down the street. Because of the huge amount of traffic, once you are travelling in a certain direction it is near impossible to stop or turn around. Most roads are dual carriageway.
We haven’t managed to resolve the sat-nav problem, for some reason the unit cannot find the satellite, we have had three new cables but this doesn’t seem to be the problem. We can programme in maps and get route directions but it wont talk or replot your position if you get lost. The store has given us a help desk number to call but the problem may be with the palm pilot itself.
My navigation skills are improving but still manage to take wrong turns, at least now I can get my way out. It sounds stupid but Stuart gave me a crash course in how to follow directions and drive and it has helped. I find the road markings and placements of street signs really frustrating. For some reason, the name of the street you are turning into is not facing you, so you have no way of seeing it as you turn your corner. The other thing is on other roads the sign is not clearly at the beginning but half way down the street. Because of the huge amount of traffic, once you are travelling in a certain direction it is near impossible to stop or turn around. Most roads are dual carriageway.
Trials at Tropicana
I really would like to take the boys swimming again as we haven’t been since the last term finished in NZ, quite some months ago now. They really enjoy the water and I feel I am depriving them. I have found a couple of swimming pools that have kids pools from what I understand but haven’t seen them. There are special times for babies etc so I will have to call and find out.
When we arrived it was extremely hot and muggy, we had just come from winter so the change in temperature and humidity was a shock to both the boys. Oliver suffered from heat rash, Benjamin also but to a lesser extent. I found there was a swimming complex about 10 mins from the apartment so decided to check it out one day – on my own, a huge mistake on all fronts. It is more like a fun park with water, it is huge but very baby unfriendly, maybe in about four years or so it will be better.
There are no ramps to enter the building from the street just 12 steep steps up then narrow doors, which the buggy didn’t fit through. You are not allowed to take buggies into the building but to leave at the reception area the worst part was the price for all the inconvenience NZD25.00 and that was just for me. After getting through the turnstyle there was about 30 steps down into the changing area, which was unisex. Once you were done you made your way through the changing area and up 36 steps to the pool complex. I found a kiddies pool, which was small, boring and very unsafe. The tiles were slippery and they had these large animals in the pool that were painted in glossy, slippery paint. The boys kept falling over. Time to go. In true dutch style, nobody helps you out, they just watch or ignore you completely.
When we arrived it was extremely hot and muggy, we had just come from winter so the change in temperature and humidity was a shock to both the boys. Oliver suffered from heat rash, Benjamin also but to a lesser extent. I found there was a swimming complex about 10 mins from the apartment so decided to check it out one day – on my own, a huge mistake on all fronts. It is more like a fun park with water, it is huge but very baby unfriendly, maybe in about four years or so it will be better.
There are no ramps to enter the building from the street just 12 steep steps up then narrow doors, which the buggy didn’t fit through. You are not allowed to take buggies into the building but to leave at the reception area the worst part was the price for all the inconvenience NZD25.00 and that was just for me. After getting through the turnstyle there was about 30 steps down into the changing area, which was unisex. Once you were done you made your way through the changing area and up 36 steps to the pool complex. I found a kiddies pool, which was small, boring and very unsafe. The tiles were slippery and they had these large animals in the pool that were painted in glossy, slippery paint. The boys kept falling over. Time to go. In true dutch style, nobody helps you out, they just watch or ignore you completely.
Getting ready to move in to the new house, almost
September 23, 2004
The boys are down for a nap and we have just returned from a Mum’s and Tots meet about Halloween plans – I have volunteered to help out at the party 10 days after we return from SA. I am starting to enjoy the group and the women there, I am still a bit grumpy about the culture shock, so probably aren’t the best company.
I think the boys enjoy the weekly get-togethers, where they have a change of scene and new toys but they tend to stick together or play on their own. They don’t seem to have much interest in the other children, they generally just stand and watch without engaging with them. The other kids try but the boys just don’t seem to be interested.
There is one rotter of a child there who is really aggressive toward the other children, when she aims at the boys they get quite upset and don’t really understand. They are trying to get away from her but she wont let them. They are used to battling with one another, not other kids I think they just look really confused. There doesn’t seem to be any reason for her to lash out other than mum has a new baby, so maybe she is just really frustrated and mum doesn’t have much spare time to give her the attention she has had I guess.
As usual, quite a lot has happened over the last week, Stuart has been in NY for the last 4 days, back this morning. Our furniture has cleared customs, is back in Rotterdam and ready for delivery but as this is Holland, it cannot be delivered today as planned, as the doc is on strike. All going well, we will have our furniture tomorrow we then have two days to unpack before leaving for SA. The house has been cleaned including the carpets yesterday and the wall is painted and looking good.
We have moved the two new beds over and set them up in each bedroom. The boys were very busy helping Stuart setting them up and very keen to climb up on them. They were so much happier to have something to do and be involved in the process than trying to keep them away. It takes ages to get anything done but at least we don’t have tantrums from them. Oliver is now sleeping well on the bed but every now and then throws some toys into his cot and wants to climb in. I guess there is security in there for him and he seems to need his private time out.
Benjamin is still in a cot as we don’t have an extra room here. They are settling better at night being in separate rooms, although last night he wanted to sleep on the bed with me. Once I put him on our bed, he went to sleep for the rest of the night. Now they are separated they seem to be settling into their own sleep routines.
The boys are down for a nap and we have just returned from a Mum’s and Tots meet about Halloween plans – I have volunteered to help out at the party 10 days after we return from SA. I am starting to enjoy the group and the women there, I am still a bit grumpy about the culture shock, so probably aren’t the best company.
I think the boys enjoy the weekly get-togethers, where they have a change of scene and new toys but they tend to stick together or play on their own. They don’t seem to have much interest in the other children, they generally just stand and watch without engaging with them. The other kids try but the boys just don’t seem to be interested.
There is one rotter of a child there who is really aggressive toward the other children, when she aims at the boys they get quite upset and don’t really understand. They are trying to get away from her but she wont let them. They are used to battling with one another, not other kids I think they just look really confused. There doesn’t seem to be any reason for her to lash out other than mum has a new baby, so maybe she is just really frustrated and mum doesn’t have much spare time to give her the attention she has had I guess.
As usual, quite a lot has happened over the last week, Stuart has been in NY for the last 4 days, back this morning. Our furniture has cleared customs, is back in Rotterdam and ready for delivery but as this is Holland, it cannot be delivered today as planned, as the doc is on strike. All going well, we will have our furniture tomorrow we then have two days to unpack before leaving for SA. The house has been cleaned including the carpets yesterday and the wall is painted and looking good.
We have moved the two new beds over and set them up in each bedroom. The boys were very busy helping Stuart setting them up and very keen to climb up on them. They were so much happier to have something to do and be involved in the process than trying to keep them away. It takes ages to get anything done but at least we don’t have tantrums from them. Oliver is now sleeping well on the bed but every now and then throws some toys into his cot and wants to climb in. I guess there is security in there for him and he seems to need his private time out.
Benjamin is still in a cot as we don’t have an extra room here. They are settling better at night being in separate rooms, although last night he wanted to sleep on the bed with me. Once I put him on our bed, he went to sleep for the rest of the night. Now they are separated they seem to be settling into their own sleep routines.
DIY in Holland, met kinderen
September 15, 2004
I made a trip to my first Dutch DIY store today to buy paint and some brushes and other things for the new house. So frustrating as I couldn’t read the tins or figure out what the descriptions were, I still don’t speak dutch well and none of the staff spoke English. I was getting frustrated but didn’t want to make a wasted journey, so I just bought some ready tinted paint that was a bit darker than I wanted and then the other stuff I wanted.
Later in the day I packed the car up with the goods and mats and toys for the boys and off we went to Kralingen. I managed to paint ¾ of the living room wall and only had one handprint from each boy to clean. I did the worst by accidentally dropping the paintbrush on the cream carpet. Both boys came over to me and pointing at the floor kept saying “uh oh, uh oh” and looking at me, naughty mummy! I think they were relieved they didn’t do it. That awful red wall is almost gone. Sorry Margaret.
I had taken some toys and blocks over which they didn’t seem particularly interested in once we got there. They decided the freezer was more interesting than my painting project and with some cooperative problem solving managed to get into the boxes of food that were in there. They also managed to take out the freezer drawers and shelves. Not much for them to do there, so they survived the 2-hour painting session very well. It was pouring with rain, so they couldn’t go outside to play either. Les had a good idea about giving each of them a container like mine, didn’t need it in the end.
I made a trip to my first Dutch DIY store today to buy paint and some brushes and other things for the new house. So frustrating as I couldn’t read the tins or figure out what the descriptions were, I still don’t speak dutch well and none of the staff spoke English. I was getting frustrated but didn’t want to make a wasted journey, so I just bought some ready tinted paint that was a bit darker than I wanted and then the other stuff I wanted.
Later in the day I packed the car up with the goods and mats and toys for the boys and off we went to Kralingen. I managed to paint ¾ of the living room wall and only had one handprint from each boy to clean. I did the worst by accidentally dropping the paintbrush on the cream carpet. Both boys came over to me and pointing at the floor kept saying “uh oh, uh oh” and looking at me, naughty mummy! I think they were relieved they didn’t do it. That awful red wall is almost gone. Sorry Margaret.
I had taken some toys and blocks over which they didn’t seem particularly interested in once we got there. They decided the freezer was more interesting than my painting project and with some cooperative problem solving managed to get into the boxes of food that were in there. They also managed to take out the freezer drawers and shelves. Not much for them to do there, so they survived the 2-hour painting session very well. It was pouring with rain, so they couldn’t go outside to play either. Les had a good idea about giving each of them a container like mine, didn’t need it in the end.
Graduating from cot to bed
September 15, 2004
Both boys are ready to be sleeping in beds, they are becoming to tall for their cots and also they need to be in separate rooms – too much of a party at bedtime. If you can settle one, the other generally follows suit, but just achieving that is a mission.
We have set two beds up in the second room and tried for a few nights to get them to sleep in them. It was such a battle every night to get them to stay on their own bed, they were up, looking out at the trams, turning the light on and off etc and then Oliver decided he wanted his cot back. Sure enough, Benjamin did too. So with no room for their cots in their room, their cots have been next to our bed for the last week along – not much room to move. Most nights one or other or both end up sleeping with us and me sleeping in the other room on their bed, or alternatively mattresses out of the cots on the floor and them sleeping beside us.
I decided last night to get one used to sleeping in a bed while keeping the other in a cot. Oliver is generally a more easy going lad so he was the guinea pig. It worked amazingly enough. I settled Oliver into his bed with his mattress on top, one on the floor and a duvet rolled up along the outside edge to stop him falling off. He stayed put all night. Benjamin was in his cot, he was a little unsettled until I put a blanket over him. Peaceful night. Tried again tonight and again they have both settled well in their separate rooms. I really want them used to not being in cots before going to SA as we wont have cots there.
Both boys are ready to be sleeping in beds, they are becoming to tall for their cots and also they need to be in separate rooms – too much of a party at bedtime. If you can settle one, the other generally follows suit, but just achieving that is a mission.
We have set two beds up in the second room and tried for a few nights to get them to sleep in them. It was such a battle every night to get them to stay on their own bed, they were up, looking out at the trams, turning the light on and off etc and then Oliver decided he wanted his cot back. Sure enough, Benjamin did too. So with no room for their cots in their room, their cots have been next to our bed for the last week along – not much room to move. Most nights one or other or both end up sleeping with us and me sleeping in the other room on their bed, or alternatively mattresses out of the cots on the floor and them sleeping beside us.
I decided last night to get one used to sleeping in a bed while keeping the other in a cot. Oliver is generally a more easy going lad so he was the guinea pig. It worked amazingly enough. I settled Oliver into his bed with his mattress on top, one on the floor and a duvet rolled up along the outside edge to stop him falling off. He stayed put all night. Benjamin was in his cot, he was a little unsettled until I put a blanket over him. Peaceful night. Tried again tonight and again they have both settled well in their separate rooms. I really want them used to not being in cots before going to SA as we wont have cots there.
Trip to the Rotterdam Bibliotheek
September 17, 2004
The Rotterdam central library is a few minutes from the apartment and I decided to take them there. The building has six floors and the children’s area is on the second. After we had finished we had to get down using the lift, they were pretty taken with them. Benjamin didn’t want to get in the buggy and neither did Oliver. So we made it to the ground floor and got out, except for Benjamin he stayed in and wouldn’t come out. There was such a challenging look on his face, I was counting 1, 2, 3 but he just refused. The next thing the doors closed and Benjamin disappeared into the world of lifts. I put Oliver in the buggy and was pushing and pushing the button for the lift to come back, only the other one came back instead. I pushed six on that one and closed the doors. I waited for what seemed like ages for the lift to come back, eventually it did but no Benjamin and the man that came out hadn’t seen him. I was near tears by this stage.
I thought there was little point me getting in the lift and searching the floors so went to the information desk. The security guard made a call and soon a librarian came out of the lift with a smiling Benjamin – what an adventure. But he was saying ‘mummy, mummy’ and doing the mummy sign. I was too relieved to be mad at him. He was just being curious Benjamin. It just taught me to be more aware of his need to explore and have freedom, he could have chosen worse places to do this I guess.
Oliver on the other hand is much more cautious and less likely to want to explore new or unfamiliar places. He prefers to watch Benjamin and see how it all works. A classic example of this was when we were preparing to leave NZ. Stuart and I had been sorting and throwing out clothes while the boys slept. When they got up there were clothes all over our bed and floor, in the door way and hall. Benjamin comes racing down the hall and without giving it much thought, just walks over the clothes and into the room. Oliver came down and stood at the door and peeked his head in, he wouldn’t walk over the clothes. There have been so many instances of this. We took them to a bal-loric indoor play area when Beryl and David visited shortly after we arrived in Holland. There was jeep that rocked when you put your coins in, they both wanted to climb in, we put some money in and it started rocking quite hard. I hadn’t prepared them for it, after the initial shock, Benjamin just laughed but Oliver was really upset and wanted to come out and wouldn’t get back in.
The Rotterdam central library is a few minutes from the apartment and I decided to take them there. The building has six floors and the children’s area is on the second. After we had finished we had to get down using the lift, they were pretty taken with them. Benjamin didn’t want to get in the buggy and neither did Oliver. So we made it to the ground floor and got out, except for Benjamin he stayed in and wouldn’t come out. There was such a challenging look on his face, I was counting 1, 2, 3 but he just refused. The next thing the doors closed and Benjamin disappeared into the world of lifts. I put Oliver in the buggy and was pushing and pushing the button for the lift to come back, only the other one came back instead. I pushed six on that one and closed the doors. I waited for what seemed like ages for the lift to come back, eventually it did but no Benjamin and the man that came out hadn’t seen him. I was near tears by this stage.
I thought there was little point me getting in the lift and searching the floors so went to the information desk. The security guard made a call and soon a librarian came out of the lift with a smiling Benjamin – what an adventure. But he was saying ‘mummy, mummy’ and doing the mummy sign. I was too relieved to be mad at him. He was just being curious Benjamin. It just taught me to be more aware of his need to explore and have freedom, he could have chosen worse places to do this I guess.
Oliver on the other hand is much more cautious and less likely to want to explore new or unfamiliar places. He prefers to watch Benjamin and see how it all works. A classic example of this was when we were preparing to leave NZ. Stuart and I had been sorting and throwing out clothes while the boys slept. When they got up there were clothes all over our bed and floor, in the door way and hall. Benjamin comes racing down the hall and without giving it much thought, just walks over the clothes and into the room. Oliver came down and stood at the door and peeked his head in, he wouldn’t walk over the clothes. There have been so many instances of this. We took them to a bal-loric indoor play area when Beryl and David visited shortly after we arrived in Holland. There was jeep that rocked when you put your coins in, they both wanted to climb in, we put some money in and it started rocking quite hard. I hadn’t prepared them for it, after the initial shock, Benjamin just laughed but Oliver was really upset and wanted to come out and wouldn’t get back in.
Battle of the twins
September 17, 2004
Following on from the other train of thought, Oliver is quite passive generally but gets really upset if Benjamin starts playing with something he has finished with, it takes a while to explain to him that he has finished and it is ok for Benjamin to have a turn. Benjamin strangely doesn’t like to see Oliver upset and will generally bring the toy to Oliver or go and find something else he thinks he might like. Oliver has figured out a way to control Benjamin, which is to sit on him until he relents. He is bigger and heavier than Benjamin so it is quite a laugh to see Benjamin trying to struggle out from underneath. I don’t know whether to leave them to fight it out or sort themselves out or get involved. They do need to learn to compromise in many situations but they have continual competition for everything with each other. I don’t know whether this is an inherently twin thing or whether all siblings have to cope with it. I thought that because they have had each other there always, they would be more aware of each other.
Sometimes they do surprise me completely especially if one is upset from something that didn’t involve the other. The get visibly upset if one is crying and will go to great lengths to comfort each other, they will run off and find the favourite blanket or a biscuit and bring it.
After Christine and Connor flew back to the UK in June, we were waiting with Mr and Mrs Topham to see the plane take off, Benjamin ran into one of the fixed chairs and hut his head quite badly, no blood but a large red bump. While I was cuddling him, Oliver was standing back just watching Benjamin and was on the verge of crying also, he was very concerned.
Following on from the other train of thought, Oliver is quite passive generally but gets really upset if Benjamin starts playing with something he has finished with, it takes a while to explain to him that he has finished and it is ok for Benjamin to have a turn. Benjamin strangely doesn’t like to see Oliver upset and will generally bring the toy to Oliver or go and find something else he thinks he might like. Oliver has figured out a way to control Benjamin, which is to sit on him until he relents. He is bigger and heavier than Benjamin so it is quite a laugh to see Benjamin trying to struggle out from underneath. I don’t know whether to leave them to fight it out or sort themselves out or get involved. They do need to learn to compromise in many situations but they have continual competition for everything with each other. I don’t know whether this is an inherently twin thing or whether all siblings have to cope with it. I thought that because they have had each other there always, they would be more aware of each other.
Sometimes they do surprise me completely especially if one is upset from something that didn’t involve the other. The get visibly upset if one is crying and will go to great lengths to comfort each other, they will run off and find the favourite blanket or a biscuit and bring it.
After Christine and Connor flew back to the UK in June, we were waiting with Mr and Mrs Topham to see the plane take off, Benjamin ran into one of the fixed chairs and hut his head quite badly, no blood but a large red bump. While I was cuddling him, Oliver was standing back just watching Benjamin and was on the verge of crying also, he was very concerned.
Mealtime madness
September 15, 2004
Having a nice quiet evening while Stuart is out at a work dinner. Bedtime with the boys was relatively painless, Oliver ate a good meal and Ben had none – he decided that spinach tortellini and veges weren’t on his agenda. Oliver was so tired as he did not have a day sleep today, when he is exhausted or upset he only wants yoghurt but amazingly tonight and last night he has eaten good meals and slept well at night. I am trying to get them to eat a better variety of foods, but they mostly are not interested.
They used to be such good eaters it all went to pot a few months ago and now they are flexing their muscles. It is amazing how determined these little fellows can be. I don’t want dinner to be a battleground as I want them to have a healthy outlook with their food. Just getting them to sit still and in the one spot is a huge battle.
They haven’t been weighed or measured for a while, so I don’t know how they are doing really. Oliver looks quite pale these days and has grey circles under his eyes, I wonder if he is anaemic or just tired from the late nights. They will be seeing the dutch “plunket” clinic on 20th Oct so will be having a good check over then.
We have finally sold the Range Rover in NZ and money is in the bank. We ended up only getting $13k for it but we couldn’t keep it. Sorry to see it go but driving a smaller car now can see that it was a huge beast to drive around.
We decided that we should buy a satellite navigation system for the car, mainly because I keep getting hopelessly lost every time I go out in the car. Getting better now, but I find if I don’t study the map and write down all the directions before hand it is a total shambles. One day I will end up in Germany or something. I haven’t gone to two mums and tots evenings because it will mean I have to negotiate my way to two places I haven’t visited at night. Too scary.
Anyway, buying the satnav system came with the familiar dutch dramas. We bought a system that was on sale at the local Media Mart. There was no mention of anything missing etc. We got home and started to load the maps up, problem number one the palm only had a memory of 42mb and the maps of Benelux was 202! So stuart bought another memory card on eBay and it is on its way in the post from UK. Next problem was registering the software. He did this at work only to discover it had been previously registered – the store must have used it as demo and registered their name and not mentioned this in the sale. Anyway, Stuart called the shop and was shortly told to call this number, he did and about five different numbers later has a new registration number and we are on our way. Will put it in this weekend and give it a go. Hopefully I won’t get lost now. And hopefully, we can visit other parts outside of Holland also.
Benjamin and Oliver are very trying and very gorgeous and amusing at the same time. They are such busy little fellows these days. Boredom is always lurking around, which is understandable in our living arrangements. They are great on their own tootling around and very settled but once they are together they are at each other, or stealing each other’s toys. Benjamin is particularly bad at this, each day poor Oliver has a new scratch on his face or bite mark on his arms or back. If there is trouble Benjamin is usually the ringleader, he knows he shouldn’t be doing it but it doesn’t seem to stop him.
Having a nice quiet evening while Stuart is out at a work dinner. Bedtime with the boys was relatively painless, Oliver ate a good meal and Ben had none – he decided that spinach tortellini and veges weren’t on his agenda. Oliver was so tired as he did not have a day sleep today, when he is exhausted or upset he only wants yoghurt but amazingly tonight and last night he has eaten good meals and slept well at night. I am trying to get them to eat a better variety of foods, but they mostly are not interested.
They used to be such good eaters it all went to pot a few months ago and now they are flexing their muscles. It is amazing how determined these little fellows can be. I don’t want dinner to be a battleground as I want them to have a healthy outlook with their food. Just getting them to sit still and in the one spot is a huge battle.
They haven’t been weighed or measured for a while, so I don’t know how they are doing really. Oliver looks quite pale these days and has grey circles under his eyes, I wonder if he is anaemic or just tired from the late nights. They will be seeing the dutch “plunket” clinic on 20th Oct so will be having a good check over then.
We have finally sold the Range Rover in NZ and money is in the bank. We ended up only getting $13k for it but we couldn’t keep it. Sorry to see it go but driving a smaller car now can see that it was a huge beast to drive around.
We decided that we should buy a satellite navigation system for the car, mainly because I keep getting hopelessly lost every time I go out in the car. Getting better now, but I find if I don’t study the map and write down all the directions before hand it is a total shambles. One day I will end up in Germany or something. I haven’t gone to two mums and tots evenings because it will mean I have to negotiate my way to two places I haven’t visited at night. Too scary.
Anyway, buying the satnav system came with the familiar dutch dramas. We bought a system that was on sale at the local Media Mart. There was no mention of anything missing etc. We got home and started to load the maps up, problem number one the palm only had a memory of 42mb and the maps of Benelux was 202! So stuart bought another memory card on eBay and it is on its way in the post from UK. Next problem was registering the software. He did this at work only to discover it had been previously registered – the store must have used it as demo and registered their name and not mentioned this in the sale. Anyway, Stuart called the shop and was shortly told to call this number, he did and about five different numbers later has a new registration number and we are on our way. Will put it in this weekend and give it a go. Hopefully I won’t get lost now. And hopefully, we can visit other parts outside of Holland also.
Benjamin and Oliver are very trying and very gorgeous and amusing at the same time. They are such busy little fellows these days. Boredom is always lurking around, which is understandable in our living arrangements. They are great on their own tootling around and very settled but once they are together they are at each other, or stealing each other’s toys. Benjamin is particularly bad at this, each day poor Oliver has a new scratch on his face or bite mark on his arms or back. If there is trouble Benjamin is usually the ringleader, he knows he shouldn’t be doing it but it doesn’t seem to stop him.
Trying to get organised
September 13, 2004
Well in true PONL form, things have changed again. Stuart will be starting a new role on 1 November and will be off contract to a permanent role, a completely different job and completely out of the blue. The job is based in Rtm, so it looks like we will be staying for the three years. The Regional Director approached Stuart while he was in London last week and simply said that he would like to see him on Friday (10th) in Rtm. It was like being called to the head master’s office and having no idea what you’ve done. That was all the info that Stuart was given, he came home on Friday evening and said, “I’ve got a new job”.
We are still in our temporary accommodation in centrum and starting to get a little frustrated with it. I really want just to settle into our new house and make it into a home for us before the winter sets in.
We are going to South Africa for a holiday on the 26th for 3 weeks and had hoped that we would be able to move in prior to that. We knew it would be tight but couldn’t see any reason why it wouldn’t happen. That was until Noelene (mum at InTouch) told me that it took 3 months for her container to be released after many visits to City Hall and many, many phonecalls. I told Stuart our conversation and he was quite confident that we would be all right, it wouldn’t happen to us. He is talking out of his pants now.
Holland bureaucracy is so frustrating and I am not liking it here much at the moment. I guess it is culture shock and realising how completely differently things are done here. The usual scenario is that new residents have to report to the Alien Police within three days of arrival to process our residency status. Without this formal registration process, we can’t do a thing. Our appointment was made for August 27th (so much for 3 days), we filled out some forms we were given and all went along (we were all required to be there, including the boys). A girl from work (not the chick whose job this was) who had no experience in relocations and dealing with City Hall, kindly came with us to help out with the Dutch language.
The woman in HR who came to help deserves to be fired, although you can’t fire anyone in Holland, just have a long communal discussion to improve the situation. We got there and found that we had not been given the correct paperwork to process the residency application, something to do with confusion over Stuart’s two passports and the fact that Angelique had sent us along with the wrong rental agreement. We had written our new Kralingen address on the residency form and Angelique had attached the centrum one. The next earliest time to make another appointment was while we would be in SA, so we have to go on 18th October and do this all over again. In the meantime, we are still aliens. If anyone should know all the list of paperwork and documentation required, then it should be the self-named relocation division in HR. Go figure.
In the meantime, our container arrived over the weekend. Stuart filed the customs declarations two weeks ago as we were told (by the removal coy) that it takes two weeks to process the forms. He called on Friday to make a time for delivery and check that the customs clearance was all going well, only to be told that we have to register our intention to live at the new address with City Hall before the container can be delivered! It’s called a Population Register and apparently anyone new to Rotterdam has to be listed on the register. They need to see passports and the tenancy agreement for this. What has it got to do with them! A new piece of information we weren't informed of. Every time anyone moves house it has to be on this register, I guess it is similar to the NZ electoral role although slightly more officious!
So, wisely checking beforehand, Stuart went down to City hall (on his own) today to register us at the new address – we were told only Stuart needed to go, we all didn’t need to. After waiting for an hour, he gets given the same form we were given to take to the Alien Police several weeks ago. He was required to take his passport, tenancy agmt and the forms given. He has just got back now after nearly 2.5 hours and has part of what we require but not all. We have enough to clear the container in customs (or so we think) but are not fully registered yet. It turns out, he needed to take his birth certificate and one of the forms given to him this morning, was not required – it was in dutch so we don’t know.
He duly went back to work and contacted customs to say that we have their form but no, we need something else before they can process it. Stuart now needs to provide his SOFI number and have a letter from the coy to say that they will release the house to us. Tomorrow is another day.
Who knows when we will get our container, I’m really annoyed and amazed that there is so much red tape and so many different stories about what we require. It is almost like someone is in the background saying ‘bugger, they managed that, what else can we get them to do?’
I am trying to take all this in my stride but it is taking its toll, I am trying to laugh it off and know that at least it happens to everyone that moves here. You have to wonder how they manage to get the amount of expats here that they do. I suppose this is the dutch method for controlling foreigners!
I have now got my third period since 1st August so that isn’t helping the situation. I am feeling quite tired and for the first time today a bit lonely.
Well in true PONL form, things have changed again. Stuart will be starting a new role on 1 November and will be off contract to a permanent role, a completely different job and completely out of the blue. The job is based in Rtm, so it looks like we will be staying for the three years. The Regional Director approached Stuart while he was in London last week and simply said that he would like to see him on Friday (10th) in Rtm. It was like being called to the head master’s office and having no idea what you’ve done. That was all the info that Stuart was given, he came home on Friday evening and said, “I’ve got a new job”.
We are still in our temporary accommodation in centrum and starting to get a little frustrated with it. I really want just to settle into our new house and make it into a home for us before the winter sets in.
We are going to South Africa for a holiday on the 26th for 3 weeks and had hoped that we would be able to move in prior to that. We knew it would be tight but couldn’t see any reason why it wouldn’t happen. That was until Noelene (mum at InTouch) told me that it took 3 months for her container to be released after many visits to City Hall and many, many phonecalls. I told Stuart our conversation and he was quite confident that we would be all right, it wouldn’t happen to us. He is talking out of his pants now.
Holland bureaucracy is so frustrating and I am not liking it here much at the moment. I guess it is culture shock and realising how completely differently things are done here. The usual scenario is that new residents have to report to the Alien Police within three days of arrival to process our residency status. Without this formal registration process, we can’t do a thing. Our appointment was made for August 27th (so much for 3 days), we filled out some forms we were given and all went along (we were all required to be there, including the boys). A girl from work (not the chick whose job this was) who had no experience in relocations and dealing with City Hall, kindly came with us to help out with the Dutch language.
The woman in HR who came to help deserves to be fired, although you can’t fire anyone in Holland, just have a long communal discussion to improve the situation. We got there and found that we had not been given the correct paperwork to process the residency application, something to do with confusion over Stuart’s two passports and the fact that Angelique had sent us along with the wrong rental agreement. We had written our new Kralingen address on the residency form and Angelique had attached the centrum one. The next earliest time to make another appointment was while we would be in SA, so we have to go on 18th October and do this all over again. In the meantime, we are still aliens. If anyone should know all the list of paperwork and documentation required, then it should be the self-named relocation division in HR. Go figure.
In the meantime, our container arrived over the weekend. Stuart filed the customs declarations two weeks ago as we were told (by the removal coy) that it takes two weeks to process the forms. He called on Friday to make a time for delivery and check that the customs clearance was all going well, only to be told that we have to register our intention to live at the new address with City Hall before the container can be delivered! It’s called a Population Register and apparently anyone new to Rotterdam has to be listed on the register. They need to see passports and the tenancy agreement for this. What has it got to do with them! A new piece of information we weren't informed of. Every time anyone moves house it has to be on this register, I guess it is similar to the NZ electoral role although slightly more officious!
So, wisely checking beforehand, Stuart went down to City hall (on his own) today to register us at the new address – we were told only Stuart needed to go, we all didn’t need to. After waiting for an hour, he gets given the same form we were given to take to the Alien Police several weeks ago. He was required to take his passport, tenancy agmt and the forms given. He has just got back now after nearly 2.5 hours and has part of what we require but not all. We have enough to clear the container in customs (or so we think) but are not fully registered yet. It turns out, he needed to take his birth certificate and one of the forms given to him this morning, was not required – it was in dutch so we don’t know.
He duly went back to work and contacted customs to say that we have their form but no, we need something else before they can process it. Stuart now needs to provide his SOFI number and have a letter from the coy to say that they will release the house to us. Tomorrow is another day.
Who knows when we will get our container, I’m really annoyed and amazed that there is so much red tape and so many different stories about what we require. It is almost like someone is in the background saying ‘bugger, they managed that, what else can we get them to do?’
I am trying to take all this in my stride but it is taking its toll, I am trying to laugh it off and know that at least it happens to everyone that moves here. You have to wonder how they manage to get the amount of expats here that they do. I suppose this is the dutch method for controlling foreigners!
I have now got my third period since 1st August so that isn’t helping the situation. I am feeling quite tired and for the first time today a bit lonely.
The big move
September 9, 2004
We arrived in Rotterdam on Sunday 1st August completely exhausted after an agonising journey with the lads and a huge amount of things to do before we could leave. P&O Nedloyd had decided that six weeks notice was plenty of time to prepare for relocation half way around the world, away from friends, family and everything that we have established for ourselves.
We left New Zealand in July this year for a three-year European relocation. Stuart accepted a secondment, which means we are now living in Rotterdam, well at least for the next 12 months. At the end of this particular job, a 12-month contract, we may stay in Holland or go to UK but will make that decision when we come to it.
The preparation
There was so much to do. One week after accepting the job, Stuart was off for 17 days to take up his new position and prepare for our arrival. This left me at home to sort the other side of our relocation, preparing to leave New Zealand. There was a lot of stuff in the house to be sorted through and thrown out, odd jobs to finish, compliance to get on the renovation and finally, to get the house rented.
There was also the beachhouse that we had bought earlier this year, we had been working on it and had made the decision before the secondment to put in a new bathroom. In spite of the short time frame we had, I wanted to get it installed and functioning before we left. I wanted it finished so that friends could use the house while we were away and we had a functioning place to use when we came back for holidays. I persuaded mum to come up to the beach with me for a few days to look after the boys while I managed the bathroom installation. I managed it but it took a lot out of me and only the boys were quite unsettled at night.
I think that this stay finally proved to mum just how hard it is looking after the twins, she had been in total denial pretty much since they were born I think. After telling me (since they were born) that I should cook a proper meal and eat well, she turned to me and said she was surprised that we didn’t have takeout every night – she was exhausted after just 2 days.
Back in Wellington, there was a lot to do but most of it could only happen at the last minute. Les came to help me sort out and throw-out, Benjamin and Oliver were very eager helpers so Les was put through her paces. I couldn’t have done any of it without her help. After all the sorting was done we just had to wait for Stuart to come home and then for the packers to arrive.
We managed to organise the packing coy relatively easily. Stuart called them on Monday morning (after getting home the day before) and they came at 3 that afternoon. They were very organised and it wasn’t really a bother. The deal was that they, including arrival in Rotterdam, would do all the packing, cleaning and arranging. They will unpack here also and take all the cartons away.
That same day (Monday) we started taking pictures down, filling holes etc and got a phonecall from Your Home and Garden wanting to photograph the inside of the house for their next issue (renovation of the month). I had to laugh and couldn’t bring myself to refuse – what an opportunity! I said that it had to happen between Wed and Frid as the packers were coming on the Monday following. So, a journalist was arranged to come and interview me on Tuesday and the photographer was organised for the Friday. The interview went well, although I hate to see myself in print, I felt I had to be so careful what I said in case it turned up in the article and I sounded like a pretentious idiot. So many of the things we have around the house have been bought on travels and holidays – it sounded a bit tossy really.
Friday was such a surreal day in hindsight it was probably the best time to do it as all the crap had already been cleaned out, so the house was ‘magazine friendly’. I had done all I needed to do to prepare for Monday, so I just enjoyed the day. The boys were in crèche for the morning thankfully, so I had plenty of time to puddle around.
Paul made it all very easy for me and I just puddled around each room and moved things out of the way to prepare for his shots. He was an interesting fellow and we had much in common to talk about. He even knew some of the lecturers I had at Design School, we were able to have a good laugh about them. It was the first time in ages I could have a long chat about things that interested me with another person who knew what I was talking about. I haven’t seen the spread yet as it was held up a month due to our relocation.
I am disappointed that there wont be any before shots with the pictures. Kim the journalist had given me a number of questions and info to supply her with for the article, I ran out of time to do much about photos and thought would send digital ones from Holland. The digital ones however, were too low resolution to be suitable for the mag and our print ones were in the container. They didn’t want to delay the article any more so have gone ahead without photos.
We arrived in Rotterdam on Sunday 1st August completely exhausted after an agonising journey with the lads and a huge amount of things to do before we could leave. P&O Nedloyd had decided that six weeks notice was plenty of time to prepare for relocation half way around the world, away from friends, family and everything that we have established for ourselves.
We left New Zealand in July this year for a three-year European relocation. Stuart accepted a secondment, which means we are now living in Rotterdam, well at least for the next 12 months. At the end of this particular job, a 12-month contract, we may stay in Holland or go to UK but will make that decision when we come to it.
The preparation
There was so much to do. One week after accepting the job, Stuart was off for 17 days to take up his new position and prepare for our arrival. This left me at home to sort the other side of our relocation, preparing to leave New Zealand. There was a lot of stuff in the house to be sorted through and thrown out, odd jobs to finish, compliance to get on the renovation and finally, to get the house rented.
There was also the beachhouse that we had bought earlier this year, we had been working on it and had made the decision before the secondment to put in a new bathroom. In spite of the short time frame we had, I wanted to get it installed and functioning before we left. I wanted it finished so that friends could use the house while we were away and we had a functioning place to use when we came back for holidays. I persuaded mum to come up to the beach with me for a few days to look after the boys while I managed the bathroom installation. I managed it but it took a lot out of me and only the boys were quite unsettled at night.
I think that this stay finally proved to mum just how hard it is looking after the twins, she had been in total denial pretty much since they were born I think. After telling me (since they were born) that I should cook a proper meal and eat well, she turned to me and said she was surprised that we didn’t have takeout every night – she was exhausted after just 2 days.
Back in Wellington, there was a lot to do but most of it could only happen at the last minute. Les came to help me sort out and throw-out, Benjamin and Oliver were very eager helpers so Les was put through her paces. I couldn’t have done any of it without her help. After all the sorting was done we just had to wait for Stuart to come home and then for the packers to arrive.
We managed to organise the packing coy relatively easily. Stuart called them on Monday morning (after getting home the day before) and they came at 3 that afternoon. They were very organised and it wasn’t really a bother. The deal was that they, including arrival in Rotterdam, would do all the packing, cleaning and arranging. They will unpack here also and take all the cartons away.
That same day (Monday) we started taking pictures down, filling holes etc and got a phonecall from Your Home and Garden wanting to photograph the inside of the house for their next issue (renovation of the month). I had to laugh and couldn’t bring myself to refuse – what an opportunity! I said that it had to happen between Wed and Frid as the packers were coming on the Monday following. So, a journalist was arranged to come and interview me on Tuesday and the photographer was organised for the Friday. The interview went well, although I hate to see myself in print, I felt I had to be so careful what I said in case it turned up in the article and I sounded like a pretentious idiot. So many of the things we have around the house have been bought on travels and holidays – it sounded a bit tossy really.
Friday was such a surreal day in hindsight it was probably the best time to do it as all the crap had already been cleaned out, so the house was ‘magazine friendly’. I had done all I needed to do to prepare for Monday, so I just enjoyed the day. The boys were in crèche for the morning thankfully, so I had plenty of time to puddle around.
Paul made it all very easy for me and I just puddled around each room and moved things out of the way to prepare for his shots. He was an interesting fellow and we had much in common to talk about. He even knew some of the lecturers I had at Design School, we were able to have a good laugh about them. It was the first time in ages I could have a long chat about things that interested me with another person who knew what I was talking about. I haven’t seen the spread yet as it was held up a month due to our relocation.
I am disappointed that there wont be any before shots with the pictures. Kim the journalist had given me a number of questions and info to supply her with for the article, I ran out of time to do much about photos and thought would send digital ones from Holland. The digital ones however, were too low resolution to be suitable for the mag and our print ones were in the container. They didn’t want to delay the article any more so have gone ahead without photos.
Assignment in Netherlands
This is a chronicle of our time spent in the Netherlands, it is a personal log of the triumphs and troubles we had along the way, the boys growing up, friends we met and places we travelled to. As I am starting in this format 3 years into our stay, the first part is retrospective and dated as so. I hope that in years to come, when we are settled wherever we land, we will look back over this journal and enjoy the memories.
The subject matter will change but it will carry the thread of us as a family and our travels.
The subject matter will change but it will carry the thread of us as a family and our travels.
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