Battle of the twins

September 17, 2004

Following on from the other train of thought, Oliver is quite passive generally but gets really upset if Benjamin starts playing with something he has finished with, it takes a while to explain to him that he has finished and it is ok for Benjamin to have a turn. Benjamin strangely doesn’t like to see Oliver upset and will generally bring the toy to Oliver or go and find something else he thinks he might like. Oliver has figured out a way to control Benjamin, which is to sit on him until he relents. He is bigger and heavier than Benjamin so it is quite a laugh to see Benjamin trying to struggle out from underneath. I don’t know whether to leave them to fight it out or sort themselves out or get involved. They do need to learn to compromise in many situations but they have continual competition for everything with each other. I don’t know whether this is an inherently twin thing or whether all siblings have to cope with it. I thought that because they have had each other there always, they would be more aware of each other.

Sometimes they do surprise me completely especially if one is upset from something that didn’t involve the other. The get visibly upset if one is crying and will go to great lengths to comfort each other, they will run off and find the favourite blanket or a biscuit and bring it.

After Christine and Connor flew back to the UK in June, we were waiting with Mr and Mrs Topham to see the plane take off, Benjamin ran into one of the fixed chairs and hut his head quite badly, no blood but a large red bump. While I was cuddling him, Oliver was standing back just watching Benjamin and was on the verge of crying also, he was very concerned.